Insanity is a Joke
by BookishTen8
Summary: A plan was devised to use Naruto as bait. A simple plan that could not go wrong. Guess what? It went wrong. Now a broken Naruto is free from all chains and restrictions that use to hold him down and now causes havoc among the world but he no longer goes by the name Naruto Uzumaki, Kyubi Jinchuriki but instead as Deadpool, the Merc with a Mouth.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I'll make this short and sweet.**

 **Saw the Deadpool movie.**

 **Loved it.**

 **Decided to make a crossover with it.**

 **Enjoy.**

If Naruto could feel anger then he would be destroying everything in sight to get over the frustration of it.

If Naruto could feel sadness then he would be crying his eys out.

If Naruto could could feel pain then he would be pleading for his death.

Naruto Uzumaki can't feel any of these, even if he wanted to.

The reason is simple.

He's dead inside.

Inside a cold and damp cell sits the once hyperactive and happy blond in a lotus position while he stares at the floor. The small cell barely as the necessities needed for daily use with just a bucket in the corner for bodily waste, a thin mat that acts as a bed and dull grey walls that fill the room with its plain colour.

Two years have passed since the blond found himself incarcerated within the walls of Hōzuki Castle, the most brutal prison to be set up. It contains the most vile and sadistic monsters that are known to man. Funny enough, they are men as well.

As the blond states blankly at the dirty grey floor, he remembers back to the day that he was sentenced to a life in hell. The day had started off normally. Wake up, eat breakfast, go for the morning jog, train for two hours, meet up with the rest of the team for daily missions, ignore the galres being sent his way from the Villagers, ask Sakura on a date, get rejected, train for another hour, eat dinner at Ichiraku Ramen, go home, shower, fall asleep and repeat.

However, during his sixth bowel of ramen, an ANBU disrupted his schedule and took him to the Hokage's office. In the office, he met Kakashi, Sakura, Yamato, Shizune and Tsunade who all had serious expressions on their faces but he ignored it since he guess that it didn't revolve around him.

He was wrong because he was then accused of attempting the assassination of the Raikage of all people as well as the murders of several Kumo Shinobi and Kunoichi. Of course, he denied such charges and told them how he was mostly with Shikamaru during the time the event occurred but Tsunade ignored his pleas, saying how the Raikage and four other of his Nin had identified him as the assassin.

The next thing he knew, he was in a wooden cage, courtesy of Yamato to prevent him from escaping and using the Kyūbi's Chakra. It was there where Tsunade took his headband and the Shodaime's necklace which he won from the Slug Sannin in a bet.

When she ordered the four Chunin to take away, Naruto's heart cracked but held strong. In his naive mind, he believed that it was some sort of misunderstanding and that they were gonna bring him back the moment they discover the truth. It wasn't until he was being escorted out of the Village did his heart truly shatter.

When word got out that he was being taken away in a cage, many Villagers and even some Nin lined the streets to laugh at the blond as he was embarrassingly taken away in a cage, like an animal. Some even started throwing any garbage and rocks they can find around them.

He had thought that he got their respect after suffering through the years of their abuse but from the way they kept looking at him, he could tell that they all thought the same thing.

That he is the Kyūbi.

There were even some of his so-called friends in the crowd and while they didn't throw anything or laugh, they didn't do anything to stop them either. While the crying of Hinata did make him feel slightly better, it did little to stop the pain in his chest.

That wasn't even the start of his suffering.

In Hōzuki Castle, the warden is a Jonin from Kusagakure who goes by the name, Mui. When he arrived, the warden has put the Heavenly Prison Seal on him which he does on every other prisoner that walks through the gates of the prison. The Seal's objective is to stop anyone from thinking about escaping as the Seal would activate if a prisoner is a certain distance away from the warden. The Seal would start to burn the prisoner and cause immense pain to them but if far enough, the Seal will set fire to the body and kill them. It is also helpful as it prevents whoever its casted on to mold their Chakra. Naruto found out the hard way when he tried to use his signature Shadow Clone Jutsu, to only summon one Clone which dispersed immediately from having too little Chakra to stay.

Since day one, he was on top of everyone's shit list in the prison as many have beaten the blond to almost death for just not following in line like almost everyone else does. Even the guards like to take out their frustration on the Uzumaki which have led to him all bruised and broken.

Unfortunately, there are certain other prisoners who release their frustration a different way and Naruto is the unlucky one to find out how they do it. Due to his pretty boy looks, he soon got the interest of some sexually frustrated prisoners. He remembers when it all started. He was recovering from another set of bruises in the shower room when he was ganged up on by nine other guys. He tried to fight back but because of their overwhelming numbers and his latest injuries, it didn't take them long to pin him to the shower room floor.

It was there where he was raped.

They just passed him around the shower room like a toy and no amount of screaming and struggling deterred them. In fact, it just excited them even more.

The prison guards are no help since they either ignore his pleas or just laugh him off. For the last two years, he has been the prison's plaything as well as their punching bag. There hasn't been one day where he remembers not getting a shiv into his back or getting shoved over the railing from the third floor of his cell block. And with the Seal blocking his Chakra, he can't use the Kyūbi's Chakra to heal the wounds so now he's stuck with his torso, arms and legs being littered with ugly scar. The only reason they don't touch his face is because they don't want to ruin his 'prettiness' complexion.

"Look who's awake" said a gruff deep voice. Naruto has his back to his cell bars but he can already tell who it is from the voice and the dirty smell of sweat form working out. He turns around to see three fellow prisoners as well as a guard. There isn't anything special about two of them but the one in the middle is the most noticeable. The man has dark skin with no hair but stands at over seven feet tall and is very muscular over his torso and arms. His name is Jacob but he goes by the name, Big J because he runs one of the baddest gangs in the prison who has bought off quite a few guards in the corrupt prison. He is also one of the many who use Naruto for both physical and sexual relief and from the leering lock in his eyes, he can guess what he wants.

The guard opens the cell door and let's in the three men and locks it behind him and walks away without a second glance. Big J smirks and points his head at Naruto. "Hold him down."

Naruto tries to stand up first but the two follows were already upon him. Both grab an arm each and hold him down to the floor.

Big J's smirk gets larger as he watches his captive struggle underneath his goons. He reaches down and unbuckles his pants before he drops them to the floor and kicks them away. He kneels down and grand a hold of Naruto's waistband and starts to pull them down. "Keep struggling and I'm gonna have to get violent. I would have thought being my toy for so long, you'd finally understand that."

Naruto isn't sure how it happened.

Maybe it's the feeling of betrayel from his friends and loved ones from Konoha.

Maybe it's the sense of hopelessness he felt as he was mocked from the Villagers while he was taken away.

Maybe it's the continuous beatings and rapes from the guards and prisoners.

But whatever did it, it snapped Naruto Uzumaki's mind.

Big J is halfway through pulling down his 'toy's' pants when he hears him start to giggle. It isn't a chuckle like what males are suppose to make but something one would hear from a schoolgirl. The two goons notice that the giggling man has stopped struggling so they ease their restraint on his arms.

"Will ya hear that. He's more feminine than I would have pegged him for" laughed Big J.

"I think you broke him boss" laughed the goon on Naruto's right.

As the three laugh, they don't realise how right he is.

"Ring a ring a rosy, catch a tiger by the toesy..."

Big J gasps out when Naruto's legs rise up and tie around his neck in a tight hold. The man tries to pull his head out but the blond doesn't relent. The cronies look on in shock as the legs grip tighter around their boss's neck. All the while, Naruto continued to sing to his heart's content.

"...a tissue, a tissue, we all fall..."

"G-Get him off!" choked out Big J as he struggles to peel off the Jinchuriki's legs from around his neck. Faster than the two cronies can decide to intervene, Naruto twists his legs to one direction which causes Big J's head to follow along with the same direction. A sickening crack and snap echoes through the cell and the cell block.

The other prisoners are expecting the screams and grunts of pleasure coming from Naruto's cell once they saw Big J walk by, not the sounds of obvious death. Whatever they are doing, whether it be exercising, talking or masterbation, they stopped what they are doing to listen for anything else in the cell.

"...down" they all heard and they recognize the voice being Naruto's but something in the tone causes a chill to go up their spines.

With the two goons being in shock, they don't notice that their hold on Naruto has severely weakened enough for him to get out of. Naruto throws up a knee from his prone position which connects with the nose of the goon on his left side. He screams in pain as his nose breaks from the attack.

The other one puts his weight on Naruto's arm and raises a fist to drop down on him but Naruto uses his free arm to punch him in his crotch which causes the goon to release a silent scream as he let's go of Naruto's arm to hold his crotch in hopes to lessen the pain.

Both men are now lying on the floor with tears in their eyes while one holds their broken nose and the other holds their sore crotch. A shadow covers their down forms and they other look up and widen their eyes as Naruto looks down at both of them with a large grin on his face. What scares them isn't the grin that makes it look like he knows a joke they don't but his eyes. What was once empty and devoid of emotion now has a spark in them but there's something about the spark that's scaring the men.

It's the spark of insanity.

"Wanna sing along with me?"

The two guards who are on night duty jump in surprise when two different screams echo in the cell block while a third voice laughs away as if he just heard the funniest joke ever. They were bought off by Big J to ignore all the screams and sounds that were to come from Naruto Uzumaki's cell after they dropped him and his two friends there but the noises didn't seem to be the usual routine for Big J.

Both run to the end of the third floor in the cell block where Naruto's cell is. When they look in, their eyes widen at the sight one would find in the most grotesque horror films.

The cell is literally drenched in blood with it covering the floor, walls and even some splatters on the ceiling. Intestines hang above on the ceiling with drops of blood hitting the floor every so often. They can even see a few limbs around the room and a head sticking out the waste bucket. What catches their eyes is the person who is crouching in the corner of the bloody room but they can't tell who it is with the blood covering his hair.

"What the hell happened here!?" demanded one of the guards who takes out his keys and unlocks the cell. He and his partner walk in, missing the shift of movement to their left and the pair of blue eyes that open from the blood drench wall.

One guard grabs a hold of the man's shoulder, only for the man to fall to his side and show the guards his terror stricken lifeless eyes. "What the...?" muttered the guard before hearing a scream from behind him. Turning around, he pales as his eyes rest on the hand that is sticking out of his partner's chest. His partner stares down at the hand that has taken his life and looks up to say something but the hand pulls itself out of him, causing blood to pool in his mouth as well as spill out of the large wound in his chest. He falls on his knees before he collapses to the floor after taking his last breath.

Sweat poor down the last guard as he takes in the sight of Naruto who is covered with so much blood that he can almost blend in with the walls.

What the guard doesn't know is that's exactly how he hid himself when they entered his cell.

With fear and adrenaline pumping through his veins, the guard let's out a battle cry and charges at the bloody blond with his baton on hand. He swings but misses as Naruto slides back from the attack. The guard runs to continue his assault but a straight kick up to the chin throws him backwards into the air and back into Naruto's cell and into the wall. The guard winces and looks up to see Naruto almost way too close for comfort.

"AAHH-MMPH" The guard tries to cry out but a bloody hand covers his mouth. He follows the bloody arm to the owner who's broken blue eyes look down at him with a hunger that he can't recognize and he has seen prisoners hunger for lust, food and blood.

His eyes lust for something else but he isn't sure what it is.

Naruto lifts his red forefinger to his equally red mouth and hushes the guard. "Sshhh, people are sleeping. Shouldn't you be sleeping as well?" The guard widens his tearful eyes when Naruto pulls back his free arm and clenches his fist until blood seeps out of it. If its his own blood or someone else's, he doesn't seem to care at the moment. "Let me help you with that. After all..." Before the guard can scream or squirm, Naruto's fist makes contact with his face, caving his skull in.

"... it's my patriotic duty."

Before he stands up, he here's another voice come from his new 'friend's' corpse.

"Yugi? Is everything alright there? I thought I heard screaming?" Naruto notices the radio device attached to dead man's left shoulder and can't stop himself from grinning like a loon. He takes the radio and coughs into his fist to fix his voice the way he wants it to. After giving it a few practice tries, he gets it the way he wants it to. He brings the radio to his mouth and clicks the connection from the side of it and speaks in a voice many would recognize from a popular horror franchise.

 **"Wanna play a game?"**

 **( Warden's Office )**

Mui is currently going through some exchange papers for a certain prisoner who guys by the name Naruto Uzumaki.

The boy has been quiet as of lately and hasn't been causing any fuss among the prisoners or guards. As his job as warden, he is to read all profiles about his prisoners that have been generously supplied by their former Villages.

After reading Naruto's, he instantly knows that he isn't someone who should be in a place like Hōzuki Castle which houses criminals that range from serial killer to rapists. However, being accused of attempted assassination of a Kage isn't something he can lightly ignore so he thought to give him a few years with everyone else before he transfers the boy into a more suitable prison. Before he can sign his signature on the form, his radio comes to life.

"Warden! We have a problem!" a man's voice shouted from the other side of the device.

Mui picks up the device and brings it to his mouth and speaks "What's the problem?" Years as a Shinobi and as the warden of the prison has given him the ability to know when someone is lying, telling the truth or if they are calm or panicked. The voice of the guard on the radio is clearly panicked for some reason. _"What has him so frightened?"_

"A prisoner has escaped for his cell!"

Mui can't help but sigh at the man's idiocy over something so small. "Then contain the prisoner and place him in solitary confinement." Thinking that's the end of the discussion, he places the radio down and continues with his forms until the radio blares back up.

"Warden!"

With a huff, he grabs the radio and shouts into it. "What is it now!? I'm very busy so if you don't have a problem with getting fired th-" He stops when screams and sounds of laughter interrupts him.

"S-Stay back! Stay back you monster!"

"Oh Kami! My legs! I can't feel my legs!"

"Why can't you die!"

"*Giggle* Can't any of you take a joke?" The sound of bones breaking can be heard into he background. "I guess not."

Mui looks at the radio in stunned silence. He isn't sure what's going on but whatever is happening, his men are dying.

"Oh, what's this?"

An explosion erupts from the other side of the prison. Mui runs to his window to see a large gaping hole in the wall of the prison's weapon storage room.

"Not my fault!" yelled the voice from the radio.

Mui sound and runs out of his office with a mission to do. As he runs down the halls of his prison, he notes the lack of guards but comes to the conclusion that they are all concentrating on the menace in the prison. Wanting to get to the sight quickly, he takes a short cut through Cell Block A which will lead him to the courtyard. However, he skids to a halt upon entering the cell block and his skin takes in a bad shade of green.

Bodies of all kinds litter the cell block like decorations with an occasional limb or organ missing from them. He notes how some intestines are tied around the railings of the second and third floor and are hanging off the ceiling like party decorations with the drips of blood acting as confetti. There's occasional bloody hand prints on the walls of the cell block which he guesses is from the prisoners who tried their best to get away from whatever killed them.

The warden takes in the sight of one of the more gruesome scenes which is in cell #128. The same cell that once belong to Kantaro Kuzuki, an A-Rank Missing Nin from Iwagakure who was leading coalitions of other Missing Nine and bandits to terrorize small Villages. Even behind bars, he continues to lead his colaiton from within the prison. Ever since eh is arrival, Mui has been trying to find evidence on the man but Kantaro always ended up clean. He couldn't even hire a prisoner to spy for him since Kantaro always seems to know who is loyal to him or not. What Mui doesn't know is that he is also ones who physically abuse Naruto more than other.

Now, he lies dead on the floor of his prison cell with his naked ass sticking upwards. Said ass is currently filled with the head of an unlucky guard who lays limo in the awkward position. Mui doesn't know how someone can do that but something in his mind tells him that he doesn't want to know. What he really wants to know is how so many have people died and he just got a call a few minutes ago.

He runs down the cell block as fast as he possibly can and almost takes the hinges off the double doors that leads to the courtyard. His eyes rest on the small group of guards with almost all of them aiming muskets at the large hole in the wall of the weapon storage room. "Report" he demanded from his second in command who is wearing the guard uniform but is fatter than the others.

The Captain salutes the warden before getting into the report. "Sir, the prisoner is currently hold up in the weapon storage room. We have all doors leading there blocked off and we have all angles watched on the hole in the wall."

"Good, now tell me which prisoner is causing all this mayhem?"

"Prisoner #423, Naruto Uzumaki" said the Captain with disgust in his voice. Mui turns to his Captain with surprise etch on his face.

"Naruto Uzumaki?"

"Ye~-SHIT!" Said blond pokes his head out of the room when he hears his name but gunshots from the muskets forces him back into the room.

Mui watches the hole before he sees a small white flag pop out and wave on a red stick. "Stand down! Lay down your arms" ordered Mui to the guards who reluctanky follow his orders. When all weapons are pointing away from the entrance way, Naruto pokes his head out with a grin on his face that has a bit of dried blood on it. The Jinchuriki walks out of the room and into the open with the surrender flag still in his hand. Mui prepares to form the needed hand sign to activation the Seal on Naruto's chest which will kill him if he does something stupid.

Before he can speak, Naruto interrupts. "Now then, if you all drops your weapons and surrender then we can all hopefully agree for a beneficial and if you're brave enough, sexual relationship." The way he spoke with such confidence, Mui starts to wonder if he understands the situation he's in. With a nod of his head, all the weapons a raised back up and aiming at the blond who's smirk has yet to leave his face.

"You should be the one surrendering, Uzumaki. Place your hands down onto the floor and fall on your knees, now!" yelled the Captain, gruffly.

"Sorry but I can't follow your orders sir. I've got places to be, people to see and I am seriously horny right now so if nobody here wants to solve that problem, I'll just be on my merry way." Once he takes his first step towards the gates of the prison, Mui makes the Ram Seal and activates the Seal on Naruto's chest. Said Seal glow red before igniting itself. Naruto screams out in pain as the flames engulf him.

 _"It's sad. I thought he would be different from the rest"_ thought the Warden with a sad sigh escaping his lips. He turns to his Captain to give him his orders. "Tell the rest of the men to ca-" He stops himself when Naruto's screams of pain switch to joys of laughter. Mui actually takes a step back when the burning Jinchuriki turns at his direction and behind the flames, he can see a pair of broken eyes that don't even flinch to the flames.

"Naught, naughty. You shouldn't have done that" said Naruto in a tone that a parent would use to speak with a child. Naruto raises the hand that is holding what was once his flag and now, all there's left is a red stick that is flowing a dangerous shade of red. Mui widens his eyes when he realizes that in Naruto's hand is a stick of dynamite. A stick that is set to blow.

"Sparkler!" yelled the Jinchuriki in joy as he throws the flaming dynamite in the air. The dynamite flies across the air and lands right between the group of guards that took potshots at him. No time could be used to move away when the dynamite explodes in point blank range. Around ten bodies worth of limbs and substances fly in all directions which Naruto uses as a distraction. One unlucky guard finds himself in a hug with the Jinchuriki who is still burning away.

"Secret Technique: Flames of Youth!"

The guard screams in pain as the fire envelops him and Mui only has a short time to use a small Water Jutsu to put out the fire. However, the guard is already dead and what's worse is now the obviously psychotic prisoner is now free of the burning flames. Before Mui can activate the Seal again, Naruto runs towards a pair of guards and weight he close distance, it stops the Warden from activating the Seal in case his guards get burnt as well.

"Stop this Naruto!" yelled Mui but his shouts are ignored as Naruto snaps the neck of one guard before getting his baton and shoving it down the other guard's throat.

"So many people to kill, so little time to do it!" laughed the burnt blond as he takes care of another set of guards. As he crushes a head underneath his bare feet, the Captain pulls out his sword and runs at the blond with the intention to kill him. Naruto turns around after hearing the battlecry and he would have countered the attack if his eyes didn't get distracted on the giggling goodness that is the Captain's stomach.

He widens his eyes when the Captain's sword ends up in his stomach. What really ticks him off though is the smug smirk on the fat guard's face.

"Fuck you smiling at?" Naruto rears his head back and rams his forehead against the Captain's nose and he doesn't hold back so the nose is truly and utterly broken from the blow.

The guard falls back on his are and grabs his broken nose and clenches his eyes shut in pain. When he opens them again, he watches in horror as the prisoner grabs the handle of the sword he left in his stomach and pulls it out without much of a flinch. The scene of the blood-covered prisoner with an equally bloody wound as well as sword isn't something many would want to see. Before he can beg for his life, a flash of silver passes his eyes before he finds himself upside down in the air and looking down at his own headless corpse.

Mui can only watch in horror as the prisoner takes out the rest of his security force by himself as he awaits for the perfect chance to activate the Seal again. What makes it more astonishing is how he's doing it with a severe wound in his stomach, something that should slow down anyone but he's still running and moving like as if he's choked up with sugar.

"Aaahh~, now that was rejuvenating" sighed Naruto in bliss while he wipes the bit of sweat on the forehead. It makes for quite a disturbing image since he is using an arm of a guard who let him 'borrow' it. His broken eyes then turn to Mui who flinches from the amount of insanity he can see in them. "Warden, could you be a dear and take off my Seal?"

Mui isn't sure where he's bravery is coming from but he straightens his back and glares at the scarred blond who grins back. "That is not going to happen Uzumaki. You're clearly too dangerous to be left alive so as warden of Hōzuki Prison, I sentence you to death" exclaimed Mui who presses his hands togethor to form a Ram Seal. Before he can activate the Seal, a sword pierces through both of his hands. As Mui's brain comprehends the amount of pain he's in, Naruto races across the courtyard to him and along the way, he picks up a musket. While many would use the musket to fire projectiles, Naruto has a different idea with it.

"Where's the candy!?" he roared as he swings the musket up like a club. The end of the musket hits the bottom of Mui's chin and throws him up in the air. Being an experienced Jonin, he regains himself in midair, even with the sword still protruding from his hands. He jumps to the side when the musket flies at him like a bullet. He sees Naruto charge again and when close enough, he throws a few kicks towards his face and knees which the blond dodges without taking his eyes off of him.

 _"How's he still moving with those injuries? He should have bled out by now."_

Seeing a chance, he swings his connected fists at Naruto in hopes to cut his throat with the blade in his hands. Naruto leans back enough to let the blade skim a small bit of his skin and throws a punch. Mui tries to jump back but he soon finds out that Naruto's fist his faster but looks in wonder as the fist flies by the side of his face and grabs the back of his head. He opens his mouth and releases a silent scream when Naruto kicks the side of his left knee with enough force to break his kneecap as well as rip through the skin and show off some torn muscle. He falls back onto his back and finds Naruto's weight on his chest. A hand covers his mouth and sees Naruto raise his finger to his smiling mouth in a shushing motion.

"Sshh, people are sleeping."

 **( One Day Later - Hōzuki Prison )**

"What have I done?" are the thoughts of Tsunade Senju.

Tsuande was always against using her surrogate son as an escape goat for the S-Rank Mission but she knew that they couldn't use anyone else for it. The Council Members in Hōzuki Castle knew that Naruto was the only Jinchuriki with enough free will to assassinate a Kage. They couldn't use Killer Bee as he is the brother of the Raikage and it would be too suspicous and might have blown the mission. So, with the help of the other four Hidden Villages, they all agreed to frame Naruto Uzumaki.

For the mission, Naruto was to enter the heavily guarded prison and discover the whereabouts of the Box of Ultimate Bliss, a powerful item that had once took the world over before the Sage of Six Paths. Its destructive power is so strong that all five Great Hidden Villages have co-operated togethor to get the box out of the prison and somewhere where it can't be used again.

Knowing Naruto, he would attract attention like a moth to a flame and with his luck, she knew that he was going to eventually find the box. She had to of course tell everyone else about the mission as they could have interfered with the preceedings if they didn't. She was met with complaints from Yamato and Kakashi who didn't believe that Naruto should be on a mission that he doesn't even know about. Her reply was that if he knew about the box then he could be caught being suspicious and Naruto is the last person she wants on a recon mission. The mission was made a S-Rank secret that if someone told anyone, they would be executed. The only people in Konoha that knows about the mission are the Council, Konoha 11 and their sensei.

What really thicked Tsunade off is when the Villagers and even some of her own Ninja started throwing rocks and garbage at the man who saved the entire Village from the leader of the Akatsuki. It took at least seven ANBU, Kakashi and Guy to hold her back from blowing the mission but two of the ANBU were sent to the hospital with a few broken bones.

The next part of the mission was all on Naruto since Konoha and Kumo can only move in when he makes a large enough fuss in the prison.

Soon, days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and months turned into years and not one word came from the prison about Naruto. Impatience and worry started to sweep in until today where a message came from Kumo about needing their assistance at the prison. Tsuande as well as the Konoha 11 and their sensei all headed off towards Hōzuki Prison within the hour to retrieve the Box of Ultimate Bliss and get Naruto back. She just hoped that a year supply of ramen for him would be enough to make him happy after spending two years in the worst prison in all of the Elemental Nations.

She was truly foolish.

The most infamous prison that once held the most dangerous individuals in all of the Elemental Nations is now nothing but a smoking pile of ruins.

Surrounding the area are dozens of Kumo Nin with some of them scavenging through the wreckage of the prison as well as digging out unrecognizable burnt corpses. Tents line up around the courtyard of the destroyed prison.

"W-What happened here?" gasped out Neji who stares at the wreckage along with everyone else.

"Good, you're here." Turning her head, Tsunade sees the Raikage walk up to her. She turns to the group of her own Nin and nod her head. They run off in different directions to help with the Kumo Nin.

"What happened to the prison?" asked the Sannin while her heart tightens, thinking about the repercussions this may cause.

"Your guess is as good as mine" said A with a shrug of his large shoulders. "By the time we got here, the flames were dying down. I've a scavenge team looking through the wreckage for any survivors but it doesn't look good."

The tight grip around he heart tightens even more. "You're telling me that you haven't found Naruto Uzumaki yet?"

"Alive, no. Dead, possibly. We have a hundred bodies to be identified but the fire has made it impossible to figure out who's who. Although..." A trails off as his eyes shift to the tent that they're using to hold the bodies.

"What? Naruto Uzumaki is an important individual in my Village and not just as a Jinchuriki. Any possible information about him will be helpful" said Tsunade with hope in her voice. Her hope dies with A's next words.

"I'm sorry to say but it has nothing to do with your Jinchuriki. It's just that my Medical Nin mentioned how most if not all the corpses are missing a portion of their body."

"A portion?"

"Leg, arm, head, genitals, someone is missing something. What I do know is that whatever happened here, it wasn't the fire that killed everyone" stated A with a hard gaze.

The grip around Tsunade's heart tightens even more as her breaths increase in tempo. The thoughts of Naruto's disappearance as well as the thoughts of a powerful Nin to kill everyone in the prison makes Tsunade's emotions spiral out of control.

"What of the Box?" If he did die, she hopes that his death isn't in vain.

"We've already searched the surrounding area and the underground complex of the prison, there is no sign of the box but enough evidence to state that it was here." With a nod of he rhead, Tsunade turns and heads towards the Medical Tent with her head raise up and eyes hardened.

She can cry when she's behind the closed doors of her office.

All the while, miles away from Hōzuki Prison is the missing Jinchuriki with one of the most powerful and dangerous items in his possession.

 **( Ten Miles from Hōzuki Prison )**

"Ok, a bit to the left. Wait! I mean the right! Don't put it upside down dumbass!" yelled Naruto to the forty Clones who are carrying the Box of Ultimate Bliss to the centre of the forest clearing.

"Fuck you! How about you use Sage Mode and lift it yourself!" yelled back a Clone.

"And ruin my fabulous nails? What sacrilage!"

"True that."

"Can't have those nails breaking"

"They are perfect."

"I agree."

The real Naruto claps his hands to get his Clones attentions back on track. "That's enough yippercuttle. Let's get down to business." The Clones look at one another before they all pop away into smoke that blows away in the wind. Naruto walks up to the large box and rubs it with affection. He even hugs it and presses his cheek against the wall of the large box.

"My preciiioouusss, you're gonna make me a very happy man, I can already tell." After the Warden kindly took off his Seal and unfortunately caught the disease known as 'Broken Neck', he found a very suspicious room with a lot of suspicious old people in it.

Living ones as well!

Of course, being the awesome badass that he is, he took care of the wrinkly monsters that he likes to call... The Elderly.

In the room, he not only found the big box but also notes about it what it does and how to open it. Turns out that the old coots wanted to break him mentally before trying to use the Kyūbi's Chakra to activate the box that would grant one wish.

They got what they wanted at least.

"Alright..." Naruto takes off his bloody shirt to show his scars that makes up his body. After the Seal came off, Kyūbi's Chakra flooded his system and healed his wounds, except for the scars that he got from his 'buddies' in prison. He smirks at the box. "... let's get you pumped up." Naruto tenses himself and slams his palms togethor and sighs in what looks to be orgasmic pleasure as red and orange Chalra pours out of his person and into the box. The walls of the box greedily take in the Demonic Chakra as a darkish purple colour surrounds it.

"Take it you bitch! Take it all!" laughed Naruto who looks like he's having fun feeling his Chakra. It isn't until ten minutes of giving his 'load' to the box does one of the facesthat makes the box's walls open its mouth. Inside the box is what looks to be swirling purple Chakra with what looks like people drowning in it. Screams of pain and terror bounces off the trees and rocks of the forest. Animals can be seen running through the forest and birds fly away from the area to get away from the dark Chakra within the box. Three birds so happen to fly over the box and suddenly jerk a bit before collasping. Naruto looks down at the dead birds that have fallen at his feet.

"Good thing we don't got PETA in this fic."

 **"All requirements have been fulfilled. Make one wish and one wish only."** spoke a deep Demonic voice that echoes out of the box.

"Sweet~" sang Naruto with a grin on his face. "What to get, what to get... a lot of hot chicks would be nice. Maybe a space gun cause fuck it, its a fanfic. Hmm... I got it!" With an idea in his head, Naruto stares back up at the large box with a mad gleam in his eyes.

"I want the one thing everyone else wants but can never have. I want to look into my enemies eyes and see the hopelessness in them. What I want..." The mad gleam in his eyes shine even brighter than before.

"I wish for true immortality."

The box doesn't answer but the other three mouths did open and start spitting out dark purple Chakra that all gather towards Naruto who starts to laugh like a mad man as his body absorbs the vile Chakra.

"HAHahAHahAHAHahaHahAHAhahaHaHAh!"

 **( One Year Later )**

A year has past since the 'death' of Naruto Uzumaki, the Kyūbi Jinchuriki, son of the Yellow Flash and Red Death and hero of Leaf.

After they returned to the Village, Tsunade hosted a memorial service for who she thought as her surrogate son. They didn't have Naruto's body so instead, they buried his belongings in the coffin. All they found in his apartment was a picture of the Spring Daimyo kissing Naruto's cheek as he slept, the first picture he took with Iruka after making Genin, a picture of a eleven year old Naruto with Hiruzen, the goggles he use to wear in the academy, his headband that Tsunade kept in her drawer for him after taking it and lastly, the Hashirama Senju's necklace.

The Konoha 11, the Jonin and quite a few Shinobi and Kunoichi made it to the funeral to pay their respects for the fallen hero. Even the two Elders, Homura and Koharu arrived to pay their respects to the man who defeated the leader of Akatsuki. Gaara and his siblings were invited to attend the funeral as well as Koyuki who all shed a few tears.

Through the funeral, many people spoke out about their past with Naruto.

Iruka spoke of his time teaching Naruto and the pranks he always caught him in. He also spoke of the times where he would take him for Ichiraku Ramen. By the time he finished and got off stage, he was shedding tears.

Kakashi mentioned Naruto's arrogance and stubbornness the first time he met him but how he came over that with bravery and strength. He even spoke about Naruto's successes such as defeating Zabuza's apprentice and defeating a possessed Gaara during the invasion years ago. He spoke of how proud he was of having Naruto as a student.

One by one, everyone who were apart of Naruto's life came up to say a few things. Hinata would have but the amount of crying she was doing made it hard for people to understand her.

The last to go was Tsunade herself and said how she was proud to have met the Uzumaki with tears in her eyes. She made sure to mention the bet between them which revolved around mastering the Rasengan within a week which he then surprised her by not only doing it but using it to hit Orochimaru's apprentice with a crucial hit. By the time she finished her speech, the respect for Naruto increased even more in everyone's eyes. He has saved the Village more times than any Hokage have.

Unfortunately, the funeral was interrupted when a couple of Civilians and even Nin tried to press their right to burn Naruto's coffin as a way to get back at the Demon inside him. The disrespect for their hero wasn't impressing everyone at the funeral because they were escorted out with several broken bones for the Civilians and resignations for the Nin who took part after Tsunade memorized their faces.

By the time a year has pass, everything has gone slightly back to normal.

Releasing a sigh, Tsunade spins her chair away from her desk and looks out of the window of her office. She jumps out of her thoughts when Shizune barges through the doors of the Hokage's office.

"Lady Tsunade!, Lady Tsunade!, Lady Tsunade!" shouted Shizune in panic with a bit of sweat dripping down her face.

"What's wrong?" asked Tsunade, getting up from he seat. The amount of panic in her apprentice's voice slightly worries the Sannin since she has never seen her like this before.

"The Chakra Sensors have sensed an intruder within the Village."

Tsunade immediately gets into 'Hokage Mode'. "Any visual sightings of the intruder?"

Shizune nods her head. "An ANBU has spotted a man in red running through the Village at around Jonin level speeds."

"He's in red? An Iwa Nin then but how did he get past our sentries?" wondered Tsunade with a frown. "Is there anymore intruders spotted?"

"No ma'am. The Sensors have sensed only one person that have gotten into the Village but they did say that he's Chakra levels are that of a Kage" replied Shizune replied with a hint of worry in her voice.

"Kage level Chakra?"

"Possibly low Bijū but they're not sure."

"Damn. If he's that strong, he could do a lot of damage in the Village" said Tsunade with a scowl. She notes the look of nervousness on Shizune's face so she asks about it. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

Steeling herself, Shizune looks up from her toes and into her Hokage's eyes with as much seriousness as she can. "Lady Hokage, it seems that whoever the intruder passes by, he has a tendency to pull their pants down no matter if they are man, woman or child. He has also spray-painted buildings of importance such as the bank and academy."

Tsunade can't help herself but raise a eyebrow in disbelief at her apprentice. "Shizune if this is a joke, you'll be doing D-Rank misisons for a month without pay."

Shizune shakes her head. "I apologize Lady Hokage but I'm not joking. The intruder is pulling pranks all over the Village and the ANBU have yet to capture or identify him. He always seems to disappear whenever ANBU get too close to him." Now Tsunade is worried. The intruder is an unknown with supposedly Bijū reserves and is able to best her Village's elite Nin.

"Do you know where he is or where he's headed?" asked the Hokage who's ready to help with the search of the individual.

"The intruder's movements are very random and hard to point down but the last sighting of him, he was near the graveyard."

"Graveyard? What would he be doi-" Tsunade's eyes widen in realization. "Shizune! Get all nearby forces to the graveyard now!" yelled Tsunade who runs past her apprentice and down the hallway with Shizune doing her best to follow.

"W-What's wrong Lady Hokage?"

"We've got a grave robber to stop!"

 **( Konoha - Graveyard )**

"I put my left leg in and push it down..." sang the intruder while stomping his left foot on his shovel and throws away the dirt over his shoulder. "I push my right leg in an-" He stops his song when the ground suddenly shakes with an explosion of dust and rubble appearing just several feet away from him.

In the crater is Tsunade who just jumped across the Village by using her super strength to act as a boost. She has already gotten Shizune to send the nearby Jonin and ANBU to her location as fast as possible. Once she lands onto the earth once again, she glares bloody red daggers at the intruder.

Said intruder stands at a 6"1'. He wears a ridiculous outfit that consists of a skin-tight, red and black full body spandex suit that shows off his toned torso and muscles. Hiding his identity is a mask of the same colour as his suit and has two white holes where his eyes are so she doesn't even know the colour of his eyes. She makes sure to notice the katana holsters on his back that she guesses are shaped in a X pattern and sees a pouch attached to his hip.

The intruder pauses mid-dig and looks between the grave he is digging in and the angry Hokage several times before stopping at her. "Uhhh... it's exactly as it looks like."

Tsunade doesn't like his response and shows it when she flares her Chakra up which makes the air thicker and much harder to breath. Her eyes move to the gravestone of the grave he is digging in and when she reads the name, her vision turns red.

Naruto Uzumaki.

"Y~YOU BASTERD!" roared the Sannin in pure anger and unconsciously stomps her foot on the floor which causes an even bigger earthquake. "YOU DARE DEFILE NARUTO'S GRAVE!"

The intruder shakes his left hand to placate the pissed off Sannin while he poorly hides the shovel behind his back because the end of it is sticking past his shoulder. "Y-You misunderstand t-the situation L-Lady H-H-Hokage. I-I just be a-an h-honest man with a-an honest p-profession" he stuttered out with eyes wide in fear.

"And that profession is~?" asked Tsunade through gritted teeth.

The stranger's frightened appearance disappears altogether and now, he joyously spins the shovel in his hand and sticks it into the ground and poses with what looks to be a smile behind his mask. "Grave robbing~"

That isn't the right answer because within half a second, Tsunade appears in front of him with the anger of a raging bull and throws a fist at the man. The man doesn't look like he notices that she's moved but with her speed, it's understandable. Her super powered fist connects with the lower right hip of the masked digger and upon impact, a portion of his body explodes with bone, blood and flesh decorating a couple of graves. With a huff, Tsunade turns her head to see Shizune and a group of ANBU and Jonin arrive.

"Lady Tsunade, are you alright?" asked Shizune with worry.

"Physically" she sighed with sadness as she gazes at Naruto's half dug grave.

"What happened here?" asked Kakashi as he looks around the graveyard that has bits of blood in it. His eyes sees Naruto's grave and they widen at seeing the defiled grave of his student.

Tsunade turns around and points towards the leftovers of the digger but her voice stops when she sees that there is no body. There's no bones or flesh. Just a small puddle of blood. "What!? Where is he?"

Yoo hoo~~, looking for me?"

Everyone turns towards the location of the voice and sees that standing on the equipment shed is a man in a red and black skin tight suit who is waving at them a bit too jovially. All Ninja get into battle stances, except for Tsunade who can only gape at the man. She's sure she just turned him into paste but yet, he stands on top of the shed with not a scratch on him.

 _"How? I punched him with everything I got. Was it a Genjutsu?"_ thought Tsunade.

"No need to worry ma'am, I'm a~okay!" stated the man while he makes a cheesy thumbs up.

"Identify yourself!" ordered an ANBU.

"Who?" He looks around before looking at the ANBU and points at himself. "Me? If you want to know, Deadpool is the name and killing is the game. Here's my card." Deadpool reaches into his pouch and pulls out a deck of cards and throws them in the air. The cold wind scatters the cards and they land all over the graveyard but nobody took their eyes off of him, especially after many of them recognize who he is from the Bingo Books.

However, Shizune doesn't recognize him as she hasn't gone on a mission for years so she looks down at the few cards at her feet. Written on them are the words "Made you look" with a picture of Deadpool's face with his right hand making a peace symbol. The cards start to glow, finally taking everyone's attention away from Deadpool.

"It's going to blow!" yelled Anko who, along with other Jonin and ANBU immediately seek for cover while others make their own with Earth Jutsus. However, instead of exploding, the cards blow a bright light that blinds everyone in the area.

"He's trying to escape! Stop him!" ordered Tsunade who understands what the cards are actually doing. It isn't easy with the light blinding her eyes well as everyone else's.

Kakashi closes his eyes and flows through hand seals and finishes by slamming his palm on the floor. "Earth Style: Swamp of the Underworld" he announced. The floor liquefy and the cards as well as everyone's feet get suck down through the soften floor. The light from the cards are blocked off by the now dry floor and everyone with their feet stuck in the floor use Chakra to effortlessly pull themselves out. When everyone get their bearings together, they notice two differences in the graveyard.

One, Deadpool has disappeared.

Two, Naruto's grave has been dug and the now empty coffin lies beside a pile of dirt.

"That son of a BITCH!" roared Tsuande. "I want everyone to find him now! I don't care if you have to bring him back, dead or alive, just do it!"

"Yes Lady Hokage!" responded everyone in unity before they all disperse to find Deadpool, leaving Tsunade and Shizune alone in the graveyard.

Shizune slowly creeps up to her mentor while she worries for her health. She knows that it isn't easy for a mother to see such a thing happen to their son's grave, especially by someone who did it like as if it's a joke. "Lady Tsunade..."

Tsunade just stares at the dug grave of Naruto Uzumaki and clenches her knuckles until they turn white. Shizune could swear that she can hear her knuckles pop from the pressure.

"He's gonna pay..."

 **( Rice Country - Forest )**

Sitting on top of a branch is none other than Deadpool who is staring at a picture of a young Naruto Uzumaki with the deceased Hiruzen Sarutobi. Around his neck are the pair of goggles that Naruto use to wear in the academy.

For the last three hours, he has been staring at the picture while swinging his legs from the branch. The first sound he makes is a schoolgirl giggle.

"Boy, granny looked pissed off like fuck. She needs to take a chill pill or those wrinkles will show." With one last giggle, he grabs both edges of the picture and tears it in half and drops the two pieces to the floor.

He reaches into his pouch and takes out a pink, Hello Kitty lunchbox and opens it and takes out a cheese and ham sandwhich. He raises his mask over his nose and as he takes a bite of his food, Deadpool fails to notice the piece of cheese stuck to his whisker marks.

Page 18 of 18


	2. Chapter 2

**( Konoha - Hokage's Office )**

Kakashi, Guy, Anko and Kurenai stand in front of their leader who is flicking through the pages of the Bingo Book. They await their further instructions after coming back from being ordered to find information on the masked man. It didn't take long as Anko had found him in the Bingo Book and immediately arrived with everyone else to give her the information.

Tsunade finds the page she's looking for and begins reading it.

 _Name: Unknown_

 _Alias: Deadpool_

 _Sex: Male_

 _Age: Unknown_

 _Affiliation: None_

 _Rank: S_

 _Bounty: Kumo - 250,000, Dead or Alive. Suna - 250,000, Dead or Alive. Kiri - 400,000, Alive. Iwa - 500,000, Dead or Alive._

 _Skills:_

 _Ninjutsu - Jonin/Kage_

 _Taijutsu - Jonin/Kage_

 _Genjutsu - Unknown_

 _Kenjutsu - Kage_

 _Fuinjutsu - Possibly level 7-9 Master_

 _Bloodline: Deadpool has an impressive regeneration ability which heals him from any and all fatal wounds. Eye witnesses claim that he has grown back an entire arm within seconds after it was blown apart from an exploding tag._

 _Extra Info: Deadpool can be easily identified from his red and black full body suit and mask. He is known to carry two katana blades on his back which he uses with great efficiency. He's infamously known for his unpredictability in battles. From an experts point of view, Deadpool is most likely suffering mental damage which just makes him an even more dangerous foe or even, possible ally on the battlefield. He is fearless and ruthless against all enemies. His latest and most Impressive achievement was fighting off his fellow S-Rank Nin, Kisame Hoshigaki in a Kenjutsu duel._

"He has an impressive rap sheet. I'm amazed that I didn't hear of him sooner" commented Kurenai who has read over the man's profile and while she is impressed with his skills as a Ninja, she is also a bit intimidated that he was able to fight off Kisame Hoshigaki of all people. A master of Kenjutsu, wielder of the Samehada blade and has enough Chakra to match a Bijū and Deadpool fought him off! Only someone with the skills and strength of a Kage could have any hope to defeat such a monster. What also slightly scares her is the part about Deadpool's damaged mind which she can admit is true after seeing him last night.

"He does indeed. Although, I am curious over why the other Villages want him so badly" wondered Tsunade while she makes a thinking pose.

"He does have some sort of regeneration bloodline. Maybe that's why they want the nut job?" shrugged Anko as she chews on a dango stick.

 _"At least I know how he survived my punch"_ thought Tsunade with a frown. What has her worried is his regeneration ability since it healed him in the matter of seconds after she gave him one of her better punches.

"What's our next course of action, ma'am?" asked Kakashi who has a sudden urge to wring Deadpool's neck for the lack of respect he showed his dead student. S-Rank or not, he will pay.

"As of right now, we do nothing but have you prepare for the Annual Kenjutsi Tournament in Iron Country" replied Tsunade in a stern tone, knowing that Kakashi will make some form of complaint.

Kakashi looks at his leader with a look of betrayel. "But Lady Hokage, we just can't him get away with defiling Naruto's grave like that. It isn't right!" Anko, Guy and Kurenai all nod their heads in agreement with him.

"And we won't" said Tsunade with a glare that halts Kakashi from continuing any sort of rebuttle. "But the tournament is only a week away and you are the one of our few Kenjutsu specialists. I need you to continue your training. Nobles from all over the world will be coming to see the tournament and to see which Village they should pay for their services. You, Tenten and Yugao will be there to put Leaf in the spotlight so you will need to focus on that for now.

"What will we do about the Deadpool situation?" asked Guy with a serious expression which isn't normal for the usually excitable Jonin. After witnessing such an unyouthful act on Naruto's grave, the idea of beating Deadpool down a few notches really seems like a youthful idea to him.

"For now, we do nothing." Before anyone can complain, she raises her hand to let her continue speaking. "I know how you all feel but we can't just storm off in one direction and hope that we somehow find him. I've already told the ANBU and the other Jonin to keep an eye and ear open for him and I'll be placing him in our Bingo Book as well." She stands up and dramatically slams her palm on the table which causes it to shake and crack from the force used. "As of right now, Deadpool is the most wanted man in the world and he will be put to justice.

 **( One Week Later - Iron Country Stadium )**

In the stadium that is at least twice the size as Konoha's own, thousand of spectators line the seats so they can watch the festivities that are about to happen. Nobles and the wealthy civilians are sitting in the front seats so they can get a better look while the lesser class have to make do with the further back and higher seats. At one side of the arena in the middle row is a VIP booth which is there to hold the five Kages of the Main Hidden Villages.

In thrones that are lined up by one another, Gaara sits on the far right with the Mizukage, Mei by his left side. To her left is Tsunade who is then followed up by the Tsuchikage, Onoki and the Raikage, A.

"Any word of the box?" asked Gaara, referring to the Box of Ultimate Bliss.

"Still nothing. I still wonder how it just vanished in thin air" said Mei with a frown.

"I knew I should have placed a spy inside the prison but no~, the Hokage wanted to put the fate of the world on a brat" mocked A who ignores the glare from Tsunsde.

"You better watch what you say or I'm gonna have to break something important of yours" threatened the Slug Sannin with a scowl.

A leans over towards Tsunade with a glare of his own. "Is that a threat?"

"No, its a promise that I'm willing to keep."

"As I much enjoy your banter, I'd prefer it if you two didn't start the next Ninja Warwith just a few petty words" said Gaara, trying to act as the peacemaker among the Kage.

A huffs and folds his arms across his chest while Tsunade drops her Killing Intent down to a minimum.

"Tch, every year it's the same old thing. People come in with swords, cut each other up a bit and then leave. I'm too old to watch young ones fight each other with knives when I can just be at him, resting in my chair" complained Onoki, unimpressed.

"You say that but maybe IRS because your Village never wins this event?" said A with a smug smirk.

Onoko glares up at the imposing Kage. "Last I check, your Village haven't won in the last five years so I'm not sure what you're being so smug about."

"Ah, but that's only because I have never entered Darui or my brother into it but today, they're competing. This year, Kumo are bringing back the prize money" confidentially said the Raikage. He can't ignore the prize this year which increased from one million ryo to a clean ten million to whichever Village wins. If the winning contestant isn't from a Village, they get the prize money themselves.

"I wouldn't be so sure of yourself Lord Raikage. My Swordsmen of the Hidden Mist are entering as well" said Mei with a smirk of her own. A looks over at the Mizukage with surprise and a bit of worry creeping into his chest. He looks down at the centre of the arena to see who out of the Seven Swordsmen of the Hidden Mist has she entered as anyone who is apart of that group are monsters with swords. From the one hundred contestants that fill the empty floor, he can see the uniformed Ninja from Villages, several Samurai and the occasional civilian who thinks they have what it rakes to win the prize. He eventually notices three A-Rank Nin from Mizu who are all waiting beside one a other for the tournament to start. What gets him worried is that the three are Chojuro, Jinin Akebino and Ameyuri Ringo who all have three of the special swords that are given to the members of the Swordsmen of the Hidden Mist.

He frowns and shakes off the worry in his chest. "I have full faith that my brother and Darui will win this tournament" said A with conviction in his voice. If he says his brother is going to win then Kami damn it, he's gonna win. He just hopes that Bee turns down that annoying rapping of his.

" I as well have faith in my swordsmen and women" said Gaara with his usual stoic expression and with his arms folded.

"Well, to the better Village who wins then" laughed Mei who knows perfectly well that her Village will win.

"We intend to" said Tsunade who gives a playful glare to Mei who returns it. Both female Kages glare off gets interrupted when A suddenly stands up and shouts.

"THAT SON OF A BITCH!"

"What's wrong?" asked Mei with a confused frown.

"Him! That's what's wrong!" he yelled while he points down to the stadium field. "He's what's wrong!"

The other Kages follow the direction of his finger and their eyes widen when they land on the form of a certain spandex wearing man.

Standing in the middle of the arena with a happy smile on his masked face is the most wanted man in the world, Deadpool.

"Deadpool!" they all exclaimed who all look at each other, quizzically.

"That basterd blew up the walls that separate the genders in all of my Village's hot springs. Some of my Shinobi are still getting sexual harassment charges from the Kunoichi in my own Village!" exclaimed A who is on the verge of pulling his hair out in frustration.

"He flirted with my granddaughter and killed three of my councilmen. Apparently, they weren't, "Hip enough" for him" growled Onoki.

"He flooded my country's desert" said Gaara with a bit of an edge in his voice.

"You're joking, right? How can someone flood all of the desert?" asked Mei who can believe such a thing is possible.

Gaara shakes his head. "I'm not sure how he did it either. The first time I met him, he seemed alright. He came to drop off a bounty, I paid him and he left. Next day, I found the nearby sand so wet that it became quicksand. It took me three months to dry it all out."

"Was there any evidence that it was him?" asked Mei but from personal experience, it did seem like something he would do.

"I saw him holding a bucket of water which he was dripping along the sand while laughing."

Onoki notices how Mei didn't speak and also notices the reddening in her cheeks. "What say you Lady Mizukage? I've seen the bounty your Village has out for the man but I'm curious over why you want him back alive only." The other Kages look over at the Mizukage who's red face turns a shade redder.

"It's personal" she muttered while not making any eye contact with her fellow Kages. While A, Gaara and Onoki look at her curiously, Tsunade nods her head in understanding. She knows a look of shame when she sees one.

 **( Stadium Floor )**

"Wow, I have a lot of fans" giggled Deadpool when he senses KI from the Kage booth.

Beside him, a muscled man who's almost twice the size as Deadpool glares down at him. "Will ya shut up! I don't want some dimwit in tights disturbing my thoughts" he growled. A few snickering can be heard from a other contestants around them.

Deadpool turns to the large man and looks him up and down. He notes the Iwa headband around his bicep as well as the little armour. In fact, he's just wearing a pair of brown pants and sandels, going shirtless to show off his muscles. Deadpool nudges the guy on his right and whispers to him loudly. "Fifty ryo says that this prick is compensating for something. What ya say? You in?" Several brave men and women chuckle while the Iwa Nin growls and reaches for the large broadsword on his back before stopping himself when he sees Mifune walking over.

"First off, I'd like to wish you all luck. Every match shall be one-on-one and will be randomly selected. Once your name comes up, you have five minutes to make it to your match. Failure to do so is an automatic disqualification. Jut like every other year, deaths are forbidden." Mifune's eyes glare at every contestant. "Any deaths will be an automatic disqualification. Any questions?"

Deadpool raises his hand with a lot more enthusiasm then anyone should have. "Ooh, ooh, pick me!, pick me!" he chanted will jumping up and down.

"You're the only one asking a question dumb ass" yelled the Iwa man beside him who hits him across the back of his head.

Deadpool rubs the back of his head and looks up at the man with an unnerving stare that starts to creep out the Iwa Nin. The creepy moment is ruined when Deadpool scrunches up his nose in disgust and waves his hand in front of his face. "Yuck, ya really need a mint."

The other contestants look at the spandex-wearing Shinobi with looks of awe, disgust and annoyance. The only one who is enjoying his strange attitude is Ameyuri who is laughing.

"That's it!" shouted the Iwa Nin in anger. He grabs Deadpool by the front of his spandex suit with one hand and lifts him up with ease. "Your dead!"

"I need an adult!, I need an adult!" shouted Deadpool is distress as he waves his body around. While Mifune tries to calm the two down, the Kages are having a heated discussion with one another.

 **( VIP Booth )**

"That's a S-Rank Shinobi?" asked Gaara with a raised brow. "He acts more like a clown then a killer." He watches on as Deadpool places the Iwa Nin in a headlock and starts to give him noogies.

"Don't let that fool you. He can be very dangerous whenever he wants to be. That, I can promise you" said Mei, sagely. Onoki and Tsunade nod their heads in agreement with her words as they've both seen first hand what he can do.

"From your tone, I'm guessing you've seen his handy work personally" A stated in a matter of fact tone.

Mei nods her head. "I was on a diplomatic mission which required my presence. At the time, I had only brought two guards which was my mistake as we were later ambushed by almost a hundred of Yagura's followers. We fought for what felt like hours and we only took out at least half of them while I lost both guards. I was exhausted while most of them didn't even have a scratch. I thought it was the end of me until Deadpool appeared out of nowhere" she said while gazing down into the arena where she can see Deadpool being held down by three other contestants while screaming "Stranger danger!, Stranger danger!..."

"It lasted around a minute but when it was over, Deadpool was gone and I was surrounded by the bodies. He moved so fast that I almost thought that it was the Yellow Flash all over again." Onoki flinches at the memory of the man who took out three battalions of his best Nin durin the war. Even now, Minato's name is cursed in his Village, especially by families who lost fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters to the Yellow Flash.

"I can tell you all now that while Deadpool is definitely annoying and not right in the head, he is a powerful man." Mei leans back into her throne and sighs. "A man who I wouldn't want to anger."

 **( Arena Floor )**

The tournament hasn't even officially started and yet, Mifune wishes for it to end as fast as possible. It would have started earlier if it wasn't for one of the contestants getting a bit too 'excited'. "Next time you act out, I'm disqualifying you from the tournament. Do I make myself clear?" The Samurai glares at Deadpool to make his point clear.

Deadpool puts his hands in his pockets which nobody knew he had and kicks away a lone pebble while looking at his feet. "He started it..." he muttered.

Mifune's glare sharpens which startles Deadpool who runs behind the Iwa Shinobi and peaks over his shoulder. All the while, the Iwa Nin shakes from trying his best to not cut the wierdo in half.

"Crystal clear sir!" exclaimed Deadpool with a mock salute, all previous fear of the strongest Samurai suddenly vanishing.

"Good. Now then, what was your question?"

Still peaking his head over the Iwa Nin's shoulder, Deadpool tilts his head with a look of confusion expressed on his masked face.

"Question?"

Almost all the contestants grown or scowl from his response while Ameyuri just laughs even louder, finding much enjoyment in the situation. Mifune's eyes start to twitch in annoyance, showing that the strongest Samurai is starting to lose patience.

"What the hell!? You just wasted all our time for nothing!" yelled a man further back among the group of swordsmen and women.

"Hey, I'm as pissed as you guys are. We should have started ages ago" said Deadpool is a condescending tone while he shakes his head.

Mifune turns and walks away, having enough of the ridiculousness of the S-Rank Nin. All the contestants were then told to spread out to the walls of the arena and await for their names to be called. In the centre, there are four raised platform that act as the stages for the one-on-one duels.

"Rules are simple. Ninjutsu and Genjutsu are forbidden and, will result in immediate disqualification. Winner is decided when someone is knocked unconscious, surrenders or fallsoff of the stage" announced Mifune who has moved up to higher ground within the stadium. With Chakra, he's concentrating it to his throat which allows his voice to echo outwards, similar to that of a microphone. A large screen that rests on the wall above Mifune turns on to show four separate category blocks which separates the duelist's. It lists from A, B, C and D block.

Deadpool leans against the wall and watches as the tournament he accidentally entered starts off. As he sees a guy get a sword through the shoulder and kicked off the twenty foot stage, he thinks back at how he got into the tournament in the first place. Last thing he remembers is licking whip cream off of a sexy super model from Takigakure and then all of a sudden, he finds himself in a room full of buff, sweaty guys with big knives. The few lean and sexy swordswomen sort of made up for the phenomenal case of blue balls but the sausage and taco ratio was way too uneven for his liking.

7:3 to the sausages!

"Deadpool and the Rock Giant, head to platform B" echoed Mifune's voice.

"Yipee!" cheered Deadpool who seemingly floats to said arena. When he eventually makes it there, he looks over at the 'Iron Giant' and suddenly laughs. "Hahahaha! Iron Giant my ass!" laughed Deadpool while pointing at the Iwa Nin from earlier.

The Iwa Nin growls as he reaches behind his back and pulls out his large broadsword which he slams into the earth. He smirks when his opponent stops laughing, only for him to make another smartass comment.

"You seriously are compensating for something, aren't ya" said Deadpool as more of a statement than a question.

"You're a dead man!" yelled the Iron Giant who slams his foot down with enough strength to crack the floor and in a blur, appears in front of Deadpool while already halfway through swinging his mighty sword.

Many people see it as the end for the loudmouth Nin so imagine their surprise when the Iron Giant's sword is stopped by one of Deadpool's katana which nobody saw him unsheath. What really confuses many experts and Nin is how the Iwa Nin's large broadsword got stopped by Deadpool's katana blade. Especially since the push of wind that everyone in the front row can feel shows that the force behind the Iron Giant's broadsword should have cleaved through the katana easily enough.

"That's some fine~ quality metal for ya. Killed a lot of people to get it" said Deadpool, having no trouble holding back the Iron Giant.

Iron Giant grits his teeth in frustration as he pushes more strength into his sword, yet his opponent is barely shaking from pushing back. He pulls back his sword and lifts it up high to bring it down so he can cut the spandex-wearing man in half. Only for Deadpool to calmly step to his left and narrowly dodge the sword which cuts into the stage floor. The cut in the floor extends all the way to the end of the stage.

Iron Giant throws a punch at Deadpool's face but he surprisingly dodges by leaning his back in a perfect ninety degree angle, causing a few spectators to wince to phantom pains of actually doing such a painful looking angle with their own bodies. As the fist flies over Deadpool, the magic of fanfiction causes time to slow so Deadpool can try to pierce the Iwa Nin with his katana from his awkward angle.

"CHIMICHANGA!"

However, luckily for the Iron Giant, he just barely saw the glint of light from the sun hitting the katana blade which gave him enough warning to tilt his head to the side to avoid having a sword through his skull. His eyes widens when he feels the katana cut his left cheek so he quickly jumps back to the other side of the stage to get some distance. He reaches up to his cheek before he looks at his fingers which have blood on them.

 _"He seriously tried to kill me!"_ thought the Iwa Nin in panic. He isn't sure why but knowing that his opponent tried to kill him, even though it's against the rules, unnerves him. He would thought that it could have just been some sort of accident but the look in his hidden eyes tells him a different story. Having been a Jonin for years and surviving the Third Ninja War, he has seen all sorts of people, including the crazies who have nothing else to live for.

At that moment, when his dark brown eyes met Deadpool's own, he recognizes the look.

The look of a man who has nothing to live for.

Deadpool bends his back even further and uses his free hand to backflip to his feet. With the same hand, he takes out his second katana with skillfully spins both of them before taking a fighting stance with them. "On guard you lil' scalliwag!"

Even with the knowledge of his opponent's insanity, Iron Giant grips his broadsword tightly but doesn't make a move. Having fought similar people, he knows that they have no problem with using techniques that others would find suicidal.

He doesn't have to wait long as Deadpool makes his move. He runs across the stage and starts throwing slash after slash at Iron Giant who parries with his sword by using the flat side of it as a makeshift shield. The relenting assault forces him to take steps back as he can't hope to parry all of the rapid strikes if he stays in place.

"Slice and dice! Slice and dice! Slice and dice!" chanted Deadpool with a clearly evident smirk from underneath his mask.

Partying another attack, Iron Giant ducks underneath another with spinning on his heel and swings his sword towards Deadpool's waist. He unfortunately misses as Deadpool easily flips over his sword. Before he can pull it back, he feels extra weight on it. Looking down at it, he sees Deadpool is standing on the flat side of his blade. A katana to his throat stops him from making an attempt to shake him off.

"I yield" he grumbled loud enough for Mifune to hear. He knows when he loses and while he doesn't like it, he prefers if he is alive with all his limbs attached to avenge his defeat.

"I bet my sweet ass you do" said Deadpool with a smile before he spins his katanas around with master skills before he sheaths them. He flips off of the sword and merrily walks down the steps of the stage while whistling a tune.

"Winner of Platform B is Deadpool!" announced Mifune with a disappointed sigh.

"That's how I do it in my neighborhood!" Deadpool declared who makes his way back to his spot against the wall. With nothing else to do, he settles down to his side and decides to take a nap.

Beside Deadpool, Chojuro sweatdrops when he starts to hear him talk in his sleep.

"One sheep, two sheep, three sheep..."

 **( VIP Booth )**

"We didn't get to see much of his skills in that match" said Tsunade with a frown. What she did see was that Deadpool clearly has a set of big ones on him with the clearly suicidal moves he used in his fight. That dodge he used could have broken his spine if he used enough force and that narrow dodge could have had him lose a limb or his life if something unexpected happened. Hopefully he does such moves when she eventually moves against him.

"It was just the first round. I believe that we will see more of his skills later on in the tournament" said Gaara.

"We'll just have to see about that, won't we" muttered Mei who hasn't taken her eyes off Deadpool yet. Not even when several of her own Nin got their matches.

 **( Arena Floor )**

Deadpool startles Chojuro when he suddenly bolts up from waking up from his heavy nap. He stands up and scans the stands, looking for the source of what just woke him up.

 _"That's odd. I swear I felt my stalker sense going off."_

"Umm... are you alright?" asked Chojuro, feeling unsure with being near such an odd character. Deadpool looks over and stares at him, causing Chojuro to feel a chill go up his spine. Just something about him is creeping out the member of the Seven Swordsmen of the Hidden Mist.

All of a sudden, Deadpool jumps at him and pries open his mouth with tweezers that came out of nowhere. "Oh bloody hell, you've got a nice set of molars on ya!" exclaimed Deadpool in a British accent while he takes a closer look at Chojuro's sharp teeth. At the same time, Chojuro struggles with pulling the tweezers out of his mouth and pushing Deadpool off of him. He's saved when another announcement echoes across the arena.

"Deadpool and Ameyuri Ringo, head to Platform D."

"Well I'm off. See ya in the flip side" said Deadpool as he spins on his heel and walks towards the designated platform.

Only for him to walk up to Platform A.

Three more tries and he finally ends up onto Platform D. Standing across from him, Ameyuri smirks, showing off similar sharp teeth like Chojuro.

"The joker finally arrives at last. Now I won't have to hunt you down" said Ameyuri before she reaches to the swords on her back and unsheathes them. The Kiba blades shimmer as sparks of lightning bounce off the metal.

"If I was Joker, his name would be on the description" said Deadpool with a shrug.

Ameyuri ignores him and once Mifune announces the start of the match, she points one Kiba blade at Deadpool who barely ducks underneath a bolt of lightning.

"What the fuck! That can't be legal!" yelled Deadpool as he points towards Ameyuri while looking across the stadium at Mifune who shrugs his shoulders.

Another bolt of lightning forces Deadpool to dive out of the way. He grabs his own katanas and runs at Ameyuri. Both clash with their twin blades as sparks fly in every direction as their swords scrape off one another.

Deadpool's eyes narrow while Ameyuri's smirk grows in size. "If I wasn't crazy, I'd swear that you were coming on to me"

"Give me a good fight and I might consider it" replied Ameyuri with a look of bloodthirst in her eyes.

Deadpool's own eyes widen when he notices a tingling sensation in his crotch area. He looks down to see that Ameyuri's swords are sparkling with electricity. "Oh~ SSHHIIITTT!" Lightning from the Kiba conduct off of Deadpool's own blades which immediately flows into his hands. The red and black spandex-wearing Nin cries out as he is suddenly enveloped with lightning which courses through his entire body.

When Ameyuri cancels the lightning, Deadpool stands stock still with smoke coming off of him. "Hehehehehehe, you could say that was... Shocking!" Hahahahaha!" slurred while he swings from side to side.

"You actually survived that? Not bad" remarked Ameyuri with a smirk. Inwardly, she's wondering how he survived having thousands of volts of electricity course though his body. She did mean to kill him as the rules mean very little to her but it looks like she will need to up the tempo with her lightning. She channels even more lightning into the blade in her left hand which sparkles to life with a bluish glow of electricity. She swings the sword towards his neck but to her surprise, he ducks underneath the attach. She's even more surprised when she feels something dig into her shoulder. Looking to her left shoulder, she sees a katana sticking through it and curses to herself for getting too lax.

She barely lifts up her other Kiba in time to block the second katana from taking off her head. Similiar to herself, he doesn't seem to be the one to care about the no killing policy. She conducts more lightning but Deadpool breaks contact with her blade and jumps back while also painfully taking the katana in her shoulder out.

"AH! You basterd!" she growled at him after finally losing the humor in him.

"Come at me son!" he challenged out loud.

With a roar of a battle cry, Ameyuri twirls around with her lightning-covered Kiba swords which forms a miniature twister of lighting which is spinning towards Deadpool. Everyone in the stands watches as the lightning twister grows in size as Ameyuri uses up more of her Chakra to increase the size and deadly efficiency of her twister. With no way to dodge and little room to maneuver, everyone guesses the end for the strange man.

Only for Deadpool to slightly bend his knees and bend his elbows while placing his swords in a post ion similar to that of a pair of scissors. He jumps towards the twister of death and while midair, he spins.

Everyone but the Jonin Elite and Kages cover their faces with their arms as a sudden powerful rush of wind blows against them. Many eyes widen in shock and for others, horror.

Deadpool's spin suddenly increases speed with enough force to form a twister of his own but while most of it is made of wind, sparks of white cover the twister as he uses Chakra to send out slashes from his sword while within the twister. Both twisters clash with one another and for a few seconds, they compete for superiority before they join togethor into a tornado of lightning, wind and sword attacks. The other duelist's on the other platforms are quickly blown away to the arena floor.

Everyone can hear a scream pierce their ears before a body is spit out of the walls if the tornado which dies down. It merely took a few seconds for everyone to recognize Ameyuri who is laying on the floor with cuts all over her body. When the tornado dies, Deadpool can be seen without much of a scratch on him. He sheathes his katanas and points over at Mifune who quickly gets himself back togethor from watching such a thing a thing happen in a duel of sword.

"The winner of Platform D is Deadpool!"

"Damn your wrinkly old ass right I won!"

Page 14 of 14


	3. Chapter 3

After Deadpool defeated Ameyuri Ringo and the medics too her away, dozens of other matches were forced out until there were only eight contestants left. It was around five o'clock and everyone was excited to see who would make it to the Semi-Finals.

"The final match in A block will now begin. Contestants, come to the platform" announced Mifune from the walls of the arena.

Walking up to the platform were Darui from Kumo and Jinin from Mist. Darui has his hands in his pants and looked bored and tired. Jinin was different as he was glaring at Darui. The Swordsman from the Hidden Mist already has his Kabutowari in his hands. The hammer part is in his right hand and the axe is in his left. Darui seemed to notice the bloodlust, pouring out of Jinin so he pulled out his large Cleaver Sword and got into his stance.

"Are both Swordsmen ready?" asked Mifune.

"Ready as I'll ever be I guess" sighed Darui.

Jinin grinned at Darui with almost uncontrolled Killing Intent. "I'm gonna enjoy tearing your sword to shreds, just like how I did with the others" said Jinin. Every fight Jinin has been in he had destroyed all of his opponents swords since his weapon is the ultimate attack and can't be blocked by a simple weapon. Darui ignored the comment and tightened his grip on his sword.

"Fight!"

Both Swordsmen ran at each other in Jonin level speeds. Darui pulled back his Cleaver Sword while Jinin pulled back his Axe. When both of them were a foot away from each other, they threw out their weapons to the middle and...

"Wait a cotton picking minute here!" shouted Deadpool who suddenly appeared out if nowhere. Strangely enough, nobody seemed to notice the Mercenary when he made his sudden appearance. "What kind of crap is this!?" asked Deadpool while looking at the viewers. "This is my story and I'm not gonna have it ruined with someone other than me fighting. Hand me the script." A pile of pages fell from the sky and into Deadpool's outstretched hand. Opening up the script, Deadpool started rummaging through the pages.

"Naruto goes to prison...I arrive...trash Konoha, yadda, yadda, yadda...enter tournament... I kick ass...Darui wins...I get stabbed!?" Deadpool pulls a red crayon of nowhere and starts changing the script to his liking. "There, instead of getting stabbed, Deadpool now gets laid...a LOT." After drawing a picture of a nude woman he then chucked the script away. We'll I've wasted enough of your time and I don't want to miss the part where I get some ass so I'm off." Deadpool then disappears and reappears back to his spot at the wall. When Deadpool stopped breaking the fourth wall, a panting Darui could be seen standing over Jinin who was lying on the floor, unconscious and defeated.

"Winner of Block A is Darui!" an exhausted Darui raises his arm high into the air and received massive amount of applause from the spectators. Once he went back to the wall to rest, medics arrived to retrieve Jinin before he fell to his injuries.

"The final match in B block will now begin. Both contestants, head to the platform."

"Alright! My time to shine" declared Deadpool, standing up and posing. For some reason he seemed to sparkle which caused a lot of people to block their eyes. When the sparkling ended, Deadpool could be seen lying down on a lawn chair with a a sun reflector in his hands right in the centre of the platform. What complete the look was the orange swim trunks that he wore over his suit and the pair of sunglasses that covered his eyes.

"Will you take this seriously and stop goofing off!" Deadpool leaned his head over to his left to see his next opponent glaring bloody, cold daggers at him. His next opponent was none other than Yugao. Tenten was already defeated in the last round so Deadpool didn't need to worry about her.

"You need to chill and relax a bit. If ya want you can tan with me. I've another swim suit here if ya want" said Deadpool pulling a string swimsuit out of nowhere. "Don't ask why I have it." Yugao blushes when she sees the swim wear in Deadpool's hand and wondered how that could possibly be called a swimsuit.

"I-I am n-not wearing that thing!" she yelled by unsheathing her sword and aimed it at the swimsuit like as if it was a wild beast. "Now get out of that chair and fight me!"

Deadpool shakes his hands in the air in a calm down motion. "Oh, you don't need to worry about me. I won't peek" said Deadpool with what sounded like pride in his voice. He covered his eyes with his left hand but his fingers were open so he just stared at Yugao, waiting for her to change into the revealing swimsuit. "Any day now."

"Fight!"

Yugao blurred towards Deadpool with her blinding womans rage leading her on. Deadpool was startled by the sudden call out which caused him to fall face first into the floor when he tried to jump off the chair.

"Take this!" shouted Yugao, bringing down her sword down on her opponent.

"NEVER!" he declared while puling out one of his katana swords and using it to block Yugao's downwards slash. The Merc kicked his legs off the floor to the left which caused his body to spin on the floor while he still held Yugao's sword back. The swordswoman had to pull her sword back to jump over the leg sweep. Deadpool then used the speed of his spin to jump off the floor and land on his feet gracefully.

"Ah Ha! Nothing can keep me down!" He then lost his enthusiasm when he started to count his fingers. "Well..except for elephants, gorillas, hippos, Wade Wilson, a huge fat guy and everything in between."

A vein appeared on Yugao's forehead as she was getting sick and tired of hearing Deadpool talk about complete nonsense. "Don't you ever shut up!?" Yugao raged while swinging her sword at Deadpool in skills that were close to a master. Deadpool however, is a master in using swords so he was able to block most of Yugao's strikes. Whatever attack she did hit him with were just scratches that only hit his chest or arm.

"If I shut up then what kinda main character would I be?" said Deadpool while leaning back from another sword attack.

"What are you talking about?" asked Yugao who jumped his the air and brought down her sword in Deadpool's which caused sparks to shoot out.

Deadpool tilted his head and seemed to have a confused expression on his face. "I'm not really sure most of the time. I guess that it's a gift from being insane." Deadpool pushed her back and as she skidded to a stop, Deadpool ran at her and swung his sword to her neck. Realizing his intended target, Yugao lifted her sword to block but to her surprise, Deadpool stopped his swing and slammed his sword downwords with the point facing down. Yugao never got a chance to move her left foot as his katana pierced it. Yugao bit her lip to stop the screams of pain to come out and instead swung her sword at Deadpool who narrowly dodged it but was forced to pull his sword out of her foot. His suit now has a huge rip on the chest area which showed off his glorious body to the world.

"If you wanted to get me undressed then all you had to do was ask" said Deadpool in a happy tone. Yugao ignores him and forms two Shadow Clones beside her. Usually Ninjutsu wouldn't be allowed but since Yugao's special Kenjutsu Technique required the use of Shadow Clones, Mifune allowed her to use it.

"Dance of the Crescent Moon." The two Shadow Clones ran to Deadpool's left and right side while the real Yugao jumps into the air and heads downwards towards Deadpool. The Merc tried his best to block the attacks but he would always have trouble keeping up with the three Yugaos who were all attacking him in perfect synch. To anyone lower then a Mid-Jonin, it would seem like they were blurring around Deadpool.

After blocking from one Yugao and kicking another away, Deadpool was then struck across his shoulder when another Yugao blurred past him. As blood seeped out of the deep cut on his shoulder, Deadpool was thinking "Shadow Clones would be awesome for an orgy."

"Yield or I'll have to cripple you even more" asked all the Yugao in the exact same same time.

Her answer was a laugh from Deadpool who wiped off the blood from his shoulder to see that the deep cut he got was now fully healed. "Sorry toots but the worlds best damn Mercenary in the world never gives up to anyone, believe it!"

Yugao's eyes went round when she heard Deadpool say those final words. There was only one other person in the world she knew that had that verbal tick and he is presumed dead.

"Nar-" Deadpool unsheated his other katana and rushed at all three Yugaos. The first Yugao just came out of her stupor at the last second as the last thing she saw was a katana heading to her face. When the Yugao popped into smoke, the real one received the memories from her Clone. She raised her sword to block Deadpool's swing but the strength that he used had pushed her back to the very end of the platform. The second Clone took notice of Deadpool's blind spot so she made a run for him while his back was turned to her.

Deadpool smirks underneath his mask and then back flips before the sword could hit him. When he landed behind the Clone, he simply impaled his sword into her back and then she popped. Now only the real Yugao and Deadpool were standing in the platform.

"Now, it's time I Jackie Chan on your ass!" The ANBU Captain was then forced back as Deadpool swung his pair of katanas in every direction at her.

"I can't follow his movements. His using no techniques at all, he is just swinging his swords at me!" thought Yugao who hissed in pain when one of Deadpool's swords slashed against her arm. Yugao tried her best to block her opponents strikes but they were too randomized to follow. When he wet for the left, he goes for the right, when he goes for a downward slash, he actually went for a upper cut with the hilt of his blade. It didn't help her case as Deadpool has two swords while she only has one. Yugao panted from the physical and mental strain of the duel. She was physically exhausted from the battle of swords with her strange yet brilliant opponent but also mentally exhausted from trying to get her thoughts togethor.

"There's no way that's him. He would have come back to the Village if he had escaped. Maybe its just a coincidence?" she thought while feeling her arms go numb from all of Deadpool's strikes to her sword.

"I give you X for failure" said Deadpool, raising his swords up over him in a X position. He then ran at Yugao who ran at him also with her own sword raised. In three quick clashes, Deadpool and Yugao were at the other side of the platform with both of their backs to each other.

Everyone waited with bated breaths to see who won the fight. All of a sudden, Deadpool flinched and a deep gash appeared on his chest. The Leaf Spectators were happy to see that they won against the Mercenary. However, several cuts ripped all over her body and even her sword was sliced in half. She collapsed to the floor with a quiet thud as Deadpool sheathed his katanas onto his back. Deadpool didn't say anything as he headed to the steps of the platform but stopped when Yugao spoke.

"N-Naarutoo" she said in a whisperly voice that nobody could hear but Deadpool. Deadpool looked over his shoulder to see Yugao on the floor, bleeding but said nothing about it. When the medics came to pick up Yugao, the Merc walks down the steps. Everyone was surprised that Deadpool wasn't doing anything stupid or saying any wisecrack but he actually looked serious.

( Konoha Spectators )

"I can't believe he was able to best Yugao. She is an ANBU Captain because of her Kenjutsu skills. To see someone actually beat her is just..." Kurenai couldn't even finish her words as she was still processing that her friend had lost to someone else in a duel of swords.

"Unbelievable" finished Shino getting a nod from his former teacher.

"There's nothing to worry about. Kakashi is still in it so I'm sure that he can take out the freak" said Sakura with confidence in her former teacher.

"I don't care what happens now. These fights are awesome!" grinned Kiba who was enjoying the epic battles.

"True, I can't disagree that these fights are impressive. That Killer Bee from Kumo I say is the most skilled with swords and will most likely win" said Sai.

Ino and Sakura look at Sai like as if he just turned traitor. "What are you saying Sai!? He may be good but Kakashi is gonna kick his ass!" told Ino.

"Yosh! Kakashi will show the world his Flames of Youth and conquer all his enemies!" yelled Lee while making a thumbs up and grinning.

The Jonin along with Shikamaru, Sai, Neji and Shino however knew otherwise. They know that Kakashi is powerful with a sword but the fact is that he hasn't used a sword in battle since the Third Shinobi War and since then he has given up using the sword until a week ago where he has spent all his time on training to regain his past skills. "He may have trained all week and made some impressive progress but he hasn't gotten his former skills like before. It's sad to say but I don't think Kakashi will be able to handle Bee or Deadpool" thought Shikamaru with a sigh.

( Arena )

As Shikamaru guessed, Kakashi didn't stand a chance against Killer Bee who had dominated most of the fight with his skillful use of his swords. Kakashi was able to fight for a while but Killer Bee's speed, strength and his strange sword style had trumped Kakashi's own and won him the match. Kakashi was sent off to care while the last match started. It was between the final Sword of the Hidden Mist, Chojuro against Samui from Cloud. Chojuro won the fight with his skills and because of him having the Hiramekarai.

"We will now enter into the Semi Finals. The Winner for Block A will fight the Winner of Block B as the Block C Winner fights the winner from Block D" said Mifune. The last four contestants nodded their heads and headed to one of the two platforms no matter if they were tired or not.

" *Sigh* Out of all the people I had to fight it had to be you. Your too..." Darui trailed off as Deadpool juggled his swords in the air.

"I'm what?" asked Deadpool innocently.

The dark-skinned man shakes his head and pulls out his Cleaver Sword, "Never mind." Deadpool didn't question him so he threw both katanas in the air and caught them in a reverse grip. Darui raised a brow at that. Since Deadpool's first match, Darui had been studying his moves intently just I case he had to fight him so he was prepared. Although, Deadpool's fighting style is random, Darui at least had the basics of his skills. Well that was he thought but just like how the rest of the day was spent, Deadpool decided to do something random again.

"Fight!"

None of the two swordsmen moved as they stare at each other.

Darui held his Cleaver Sword in front of him with both of his hands on the sword.

Deadpool is holding his two katanas in a reverse grip with his left arm and leg out while his right ones were kept behind him. Deadpool then ran at Darui and took a swing at him with his right sword. Darui acted fast and blocked the sword with his own and tried to cleave off Deadpool's head but the Merc ducked underneath the attack and jumped back. Again, both fighters stare back at each other in silence as the spectators began to get restless.

( VIP Booth )

"Go on Darui, kick his ass!" cheered A while waving his fist in the air. "If you don't then I'm demoting you to Chun-, no scratch that, I'll demote you to Genin!"

"Nice to see you have confidence in your Shinoni, A" deadpamned Onõki.

The Raikage huff and sat back down on his chair. "Well at least I still have two of my Shinobi in. How many Iwa contestants are there again? Oh that's right, none" mocked A who earned himself a glare from Onõki.

"I'd watch what you say or I might have to show you what it means to mess with me" said Onõki while letting off some of his Chakra. Not one to be pushed down, A released his own Chakra and tried to fight off against Onõki's.

"As much as I'd love to see you two fight it out we have a tournament to spectate" said Gaara in his usual monotone voice. Both Kage's glare at Gaara who sent his own at the elder Kages.

"Idiots" sighed Tsunade with a shake of her head.

Mei giggled and said "Well what do you expect? They are men after all."

( Arena )

"His stance is flawless! I can't find a opening anywhere" thought Darui while scanning Deadpool's stance. Darui was looking for a spot where he could attack but Deadpool's stance was making it impossible to do.

All of a sudden, Deadpool ran at Darui which surprised the Jonin by the suddenness but it hadn't faltered him. "CHAAAARRRGGGEEEE!" Deadpool swings his left sword first which Darui ducked under and tries swing his other sword but Darui had expected that. Darui took a step forward and shoulder tackeled Deadpool who gasped out in pain and was sent hurtling back. The sword that Deadpool was gonna use had fallen out of his grip and spun in the air till it landed with the blade sticking into floor. Darui jumped up and slammed his Butcher Sword down on Deadpool which caused a dust cloud to form.

The spectators couldn't see what was happening inside the dust cloud but everyone could see bright lights coming from the centre. When the cloud of dust dispersed everynody could see Darui trying to push his large sword down as Deadpool used his last katana to hold back his opponent's large sword. Sparks flew all over the platform due to the amount of strength both were using.

"Your a tricky one aren't ya" grunted Darui as he put more strength into his arms which got him a few inches closer to Deadpool's head.

" *Giggle* I like to be called unpredictable if ya wouldn't mind. Although the author decides what ya do either way so it's not like it matters" giggled Deadpool, confusing Darui.

"What does he mean by author?" thought the Kumo Jonin.

Darui almost fell over when the weight that fought against his sword just disappeared which forces his sword down into the floor. After pulling his own sword back, Deadpool moved his head to the side in order to dodge the Butcher Sword which lodged itself into the ground just beside the Merc's head. Spinning his body on the ground, Deadpool jumped up and started to throw out strikes at Darui who uses his Butcher Sword to block most if them and whatever ones he couldn't block were dodged. Darui jumped back and was soon followed by Deadpool. When Darui stepped back to the Mercenary's second katana, Deadpool jumped up and landed perfectly onto the katana's hilt. He used his new height advantage to his favour and began a barrage of sword slashes that Darui could only try to block due to them being too fast to dodge. Seeing none of his attack were hitting home run, Deadpool flipped forward on the ground but before he could fully flip over, Darui swung his sword downwards at the man. The Kumo Shinobi expected to see blood and hear skin ripping apart but instead he heard the clanging of metal. His eyes widened when he saw that Deadpool had used his feet to hold onto his katana and used it to block his own as he lay down and leaned onto his arm.

"Surprised?" asked Deadpool, leaping up and began to swing his swords again. Darui could block the first swing before Deadpool slashed him across the chest.

Deadpool spun his swords, did a flying side spin in the air and slashed Darui three more times across the chest. Darui swung his sword but Deadpool ducked underneath it and slid underneath his legs before spinning and slicing the tendons of Darui's feet. Darui screams in pain and falls on his knees. Standing up, Deadpool twirled his swords yet again and started to spin and dance around Darui's kneeling body while slicing his body with his swords.

"You spin me right around baby right..." sang Deadpool as he continued to spin and dance around Darui who was earning more cuts every second.

"Stop the match! The fight is over!" yelled a voice which echoed all over the stadium. It had caught everyone's attention. Deadpool stopped mid swing and looks to his right to see the Raikage standing from his chair and giving him a glare that would make any lesser man cry but Deadpool wasn't a lesser man.

"You want me to stop you say?" asked Deadpool, his arm still in the air.

"The winner is De-" Before Mifune announce Deadpool the winner, the Merc dropped his arm down which formed a large cut down Darui's right shoulder and all the down his arm.

"Jason got nothing on me!" yelled Deadpool in sudden anger while mentioning the horror movie character.

"The Winner is Deadpool!" As the medics took Darui away, the crowds watch Deadpool in shock horror. They were shocked to see Deadpool attack his opponent when they were in a vulnerable state.

The insults and boos didn't seem to bother Deadpool as he skipped back to his spot.

Killed Bee had already defeated Chojuro since the Mist Swordsmen couldn't handle Bee's strange Eight Sword Style. Doesn't mean that he didn't get a few good shots in as well but the wounds Killer Bee earned himself were already healing by the Eight Tailed Beast in him.

"There will be a thirty minute break before the finals begin" announced Mifune.

( Infirmary )

"He really did a number on them" said Temari while looking at the bedridden people who had fought against Deadpool and lost. Yugao, Darui and Ameyuri all lay in their seperated beds in the large infirmary room. Doctors and nurses were running across the room in a hurry to help all the other contestants who have been injured during their battles.

Tsunade was using her Healing Jutsu to close up all of Yugao's wounds. Standing up and wiping a bit of sweat off her brow she says "She'll be fine. All her injuries are healed but she won't wake up for another day or two. I can heal wounds but not physical exhaustion." Kurenai and Anko blew out a breath they didn't realize they were holding in.

Just then, the Raikage stomped into the room with C and Mabui following him. "Where's Darui? Is he alright?" asked A in concern.

"He's fine. I've already checked up on him and he should be ready to go back to service in the next week" said Tsunade. A nodded to her gratefully and headed to the side of Darui's bed. Their Villages may not be allied but Tsunade wasn't going to leave someone to suffer since it would brake her doctor code. A wasn't the only Kage there as Onõki, Gaara and Mei were also present in the room. They were all concerned for their Ninjas health and decided to check up on them. There is also healed a semi-healed Kakashi, Temari, Kankuro and Shizune. Everyone else was either still in their seats or were getting food from the concession stands.

"He definitely lives up to his reputation" said Gaara, referring to the masked Mercenary.

"I don't give a crap about that fool's reputation. Bee will take him down" said A in a matter of fact tone.

Onõki raised a brow at A. "Oh? You had a lot of confidence in your other subordinate and he failed. How do we know that your brother won't fail as well?"

A glares at the Fence Sitter and said "Killer Bee has never lost before except when fighting against me. He is also a master of his sword style and has full control of his Bijuu's Chakra. If he doesn't win then I don't know who will."

"Knock, Knock" they were interrupted by the sound of knocking and when they turned around they were all shocked to see Deadpool standing there with three flower bouquets in hid hands. He is also wearing a red and black suit with a orange tie.

"What are you doing here!?" growled A, taking a defensive stance in front of Darui's bed.

"So I can send my regards to the asses I whooped" said the Merc cheerfully. Everyone in the room let off KI onto Deadpool who actually laughed it off.

"Strange. Five Kages and Eight Jonin level Killing Intent doesn't even faze him. What kind of man is he?" thought Gaara. If Gaara were to notice, Mei hadn't let off her own Killing Intent on the man and instead blushed.

Ignoring the looks he was getting, Deadpool hopped over to the three beds and separately placed a bouquet on their beds. Darui's flowers were black, Ameyuri's is a dark red and Yugao's is purple. "Well I'm out. See you all later" he said, giving a mock salute, turning around and heads towards the door. Kakashi was about to follow him but Tsunade grabbed his shoulder and give him a stern glare. Kakashi relented and backed down but still sent Deadpool a heated glare. All of a sudden, Deadpool stopped and clicked his fingers like as if he just remembered something.

"I almost forgot" he said while turning around and scratching the back of his head in embarressment. Tsunade blinked when an image of Naruto covered Deadpool's when he scratched his head just like what Naruto used to do. The image disappeared as fast as it appeared but she made sure to remember it in the back of her mind.

"What did you forget?" asked Temari cautiously while her hand hovered over her Fan in case the insane Merc did something.

Pointing to the unconscious Darui he says "I owe that guy a Tea-Bag." Walking towards the bed, Deadpool was stopped when A, Mabui and C blocked his route.

"You better walk away or I'm gonna pummel you to the floor" threatened A.

Deadpool looks at A in dramatic confusion. "It is my obligated duty to Tea-Bag that man...," he said while pointing at Darui, "..since I defeated him. Have you never played Call of Duty before?" Everyone gave the Merc an odd look. "Yea neither did I but the author has and what he says goes..." Deadpool slowly turns his head to the screen and narrows his eyes. "For now."

"Are you insane?" wondered Kankuro as Deadpool just talked random stuff which didn't ever make any sense.

Deadpool giggles to Kankuro's question. "Maybe~" Deadpool looks at A and says "Now about that Tea-Bag.."

"I will kill you if you take one more step near Darui" growls A, releasing his Lightning Armour.

Deadpool just waved off A's power. "You can try but I'm sure that Iron Country won't appreciate the Village's leader attacking one of the final's contestents who so happens to be fighting one of their Shinobi. It would just get your Village kicked out of the tournament and out of the country." Everyone just stares at Deadpool in surprise. They hadn't expected Deadpool to be so knowledgeable on the rules. "And if any of you other Kages tried to have me disappear then I'm sure that Mifune would find it amusing to ban that Village from the country and to stop any and all trade agreements with those Villages which I'm sure will make their Daimyo very unhappy" stated Deadpool with a giggle.

Everyone from Kage to Jonin stare at Deadpool in utter shock. He was right. They couldn't touch him now since Iron Country is neutral to every other Country. If there was any sign of a Village acting hostile in Iron Country, it will be seen as an act of war. A growls but relents and turns off his Lightning Armour.

"So in the words of MC Hammer" Deadpool started to dance and do air thrusts, "Can't touch this..." Deadpool sang out while crab walking around the room while air thrusting. He even air thrust ed into a unconscious man's face who got too close to comfort to Deadpool's junk.

"Must not kill, must not kill, must not kill, must not kill, must not kill, must not kill, must not kill, must not kill..." chanted Anko and Tsunade who were on the verge of killing the insane man, rules be damned.

When Deadpool shuffled his way around Mei, he stopped his song and dance routine and looks Mei up and down and makes a thinking pose.

"Hmm..." Deadpool stares at Mei's chest intently "32..." His eyes go down to her hips. 22..." His eyes landed down to Mei's thighs and ass. "30. Where have I seen those delicious curved before" muttered Deadpool still in his thinking pose. The Mercenary hadn't even looked at Mei's face yet. A look of realization came upon Deadpool's face as Mei's eyes widened, "Oh please no, don't d-" but it was already too late.

"Mei!" yelled Deadpool, raising his arms in the air and hugged the Mizukage in a tight grip. "Its been too long. Still got that limp I gave ya?" Now everyone's attention was on the Mizukage who's face had turned bright red. Before any questions could be asked, Mifune's voice echoed out of the speakers.

"The thirty minute break is over. Could the finalists make their way to the arena" announced Mifune.

"Well that's me. I'll see ya later Mei and who knows" Deadpool stops at the door and turns his head to show what looked like a grin from behind his mask. "I might just give you another limp." An awkward silence filled the infirmary when Deadpool left as everyone, even the doctors and patients looks at Mei in shock.

"It least we know why she wants him back alive" laughed Onõki which caused A to laugh as well.

"I'M GONNA KILL HIM!" shouted Mei in her head.

( Arena )

Everybody had returned to their seats to see the final match between Killer Bee and Deadpool. The platforms were gone and now Deadpool and Killer Bee stood in the large arena for their fight. Killer Bee was hopping on his feet while writing into a small book and Deadpool...

Deadpool was stroking a cat.

"Fight!"

None of the two fighters moved and continued to do their own thing like as if they didn't hear Mifune's voice.

"Good to be smooth while eating food in a bad mood..." muttered Bee while writing into his book.

"We meet again mister Bond" said Deadpool in a deep tone while stroking the cat which purred in content.

( VIP Booth )

"Are they serious?" asked Tsunade who's left eyebrow was twitching in annoyance.

A held his face into his hands in embarressment.

"Hahahahaha! This is your champion Raikage?! Hahahahaha" laughed Onõki.

"They're very strange aren't they?" said Gaara. Kankuro nodded his head in agreement.

Mei just watched the arena in silence but the colour of pink that adorned her cheeks showed that she was still embarrassed from earlier on.

Having enough of it, A roars "Bee if you don't fight right now then I'll have it illegal to rap in the Village!"

( Arena )

Killer Bee stopped writing into the book and paled at the thought of not being able to rap in the Village. His pencil and book disappeared in a blur. The Hachibi sweatdropped at his container's strange personality and his love for rap even though he wasn't any good at it. In impressive speed, Killer Bee threw all of his seven swords into the air and caught them all in awkward positions. Even Deadpool found the Kenjutsu Stance awkward. Killer Bee held all his swords in different parts of his body. There was a sword in his left armpit, both elbows, right leg, stomach, right side of his neck and in his mouth.

"Now prepare for Killer Bee as I float like a butterfly and sting like bee!" declared the Jinchuriki who jumped towards Deadpool and spun in the air which gave the impression of a ball of needles.

Deadpool was forced to drop the cat in his hands to pull out his two katana to deflect the blows from Killer Bee. To everyone's amazement, Deadpool was actually getting pushed back by Killer Bee who kept making impossible movements that would have killed any other swordsman. Luckily for Deadpool, he has an unpredictable mind which gave him a slight advantage in swordsmenship but it wasn't enough to fight back against Killer Bee. Deadpool blocked one sword and then front flipped over Killer Bee while swinging his other sword but Bee had blocked the strikes with his own. When Deadpool landed, his attention was brought to one of Killer Bee's swords which was out of Bee's grip and spun sideways in his vision. Quickly figuring out the game plan, Deadpool jumped back in time to dodge a heel kick which broke the floor underneath them. Bee grabbed the spinning sword and threw five of his own swords at Deadpool which pierced his arms, legs and chest.

"That's it Bee!" cheered A loudly.

Killer Bee raised both of his swords in a defence position when he noticed that Deadpool hadn't fallen yet but just seemed to look at his sword covered body and then back at Bee in annoyance.

"Dude, this is my favourite outfit!" yelled Deadpool while pulling the swords out of his body like they were nothing and threw them behind him. "You are so getting the bill for this."

Killer Bee frowns as he sees Deadpool's wounds closing up with steam flowing out of the wounds. "Is he what I think he is Gyuki?" thought Killer Bee to his captive.

 **"Seems like it Bee. He's a Jinchuriki like you but I don't know which of my siblings he holds" said the Eight-Tailed Beast to his container.**

"I was afraid of that." After pulling the swords out if his body, Deadpool charges at Killer Bee and starts to throw his own random barrage at Killer Bee who blocks them with his remaining swords. Both men flew through the arena in a dance of blades. Killer Bee was pushed back after Deadpool sliced his chest with the symbol D on it. The wound soon healed but Bee didn't care for that. "Killer Bee is at a disadvantage yo, I'm gonna need my swords to win this for bro" rapped Bee in his head which caused the Hachibi to sigh in annoyance. Jumping at Deadpool, both men locked swords against each other but Bee used that to his advantage and took a few steps to the left before he spun around and made a run for his other swords. The sudden movement caused Deadpool to tilt over from mizzens own weight. Killer Bee didn't see Deadpool balancing on one leg while looking at his own retreating form with a sword held high.

Killer Bee fell to the floor when a sword pierced his left leg. The crowd were amazed by how Deadpool threw his sword in such a awkward angle. Quickly pulling the sword out of his wound, Killer Bee used the sword to block Deadpool's other one.

"Ooh, sparkly" said Deadpool as he watches the sparks that can out of the swords in childlike amusement.

The Merc then bent down and threw his arm upwards to impale Bee but the Jinchuriki used his own sword to knock the attack off course. Killer Bee hid his wince when Deadpool's sword cut into his side. Bee raised his swords and slammed them downwards but Deadpool rolled back in time but Bee wasn't done so he ran at Deadpool and impaled his shoulder with one sword but his other sword was blocked.

"I'll be taking my sword back" said Deadpool, flicking his opponent's sword up which flew in the air. Killer Bee couldn't help but jump back when Deadpool tried to take his head off. He tried to pull out the katana from Deadpool's shoulder but Deadpool held a tight grip on the hilt of the sword which almost crushed his own fingers so Bee was forced to leave the weapon. Pulling the katana out of his wound and rolling his arm around, Deadpool signed happily while his wound heals and got back into his fighting stance. Killer Bee then noticed the situation he was in. His other swords were just a few feet to his left but his opponent was around the same distance as well and he might counter.

"Looks like I'll have to get serious" he muttered. Killer Bee's body emitted a reddish glow before Dark Red Chakra covered his body with three tails swinging behind him. "Eighto had come out to play!" yelled Killer Bee while raising his swords in the air. Killer Bee roared at Deadpool which caused a shock wave to shoot towards the Merc due to the strength of the Hachibi. Deadpool was launched to the other side of the arena and collided with the wall which cracked it and caused debris to shoot upwards. Killer Bee blurred to his swords and placed them back into his body parts.

( Konoha Spectators )

"H-He's a J-Jinchuriki" muttered Ino who was afraid of the foul Chakra that flooded the arena.

"This match has gotten serious" said Shikamaru. The Nara didn't seem to be affected by the Chakra but if someone watched then they could see him grabbing onto his chair tightly.

"Who do you think is gonna win now?" asked Hinata, looking over to the High Jonin.

"They were both around the same level when they started off. Now with Killer Bee using his Bijuu's Chakra I can't see Deadpool winning this" said Kurenai.

"Good. Make that basterd suffer!" shouted Anko gleefully.

"Will she ever get over that. Its been a week and she's still pissed" thought Kurenai with a shake of her head.

"What is that!" shouted Kiba who felt something powerful from the other side of the arena. Everyone followed his line of sight and what they saw made them gape in shock.

"No way.

( VIP Booth )

"No way" muttered Tsunade.

"How is this possible!?" asked Onõki who wasn't sure that what he was seeing was real.

"This can't be happening! Not right now!" roared A while pulling his hair.

Gaara and Mei just watch in silence as the match continued. They may not look like it but they were both as confused as everyone else in the Village.

Especially Mei.

( Arena )

The source of confusion was coming from none other than Deadpool who was slowly rising from his feet. Red Chakra swirled around him as a thick coat of Chakra engulfed Deadpool. Three tails of the bubbling red Chakra blew behind him.

"Sudden...urge...to...scratch.." muttered Deadpool while rising from the floor. "Now for round two" said Deadpool while he raises his katanas up only for them to shatter when Killer Bee blurred in front of him and slashed his swords with two of his own which also broke. Bee then spun himself and swung another sword which impacted against Deadpool's Chakra Shroud which protected the Merc but the force caused him to fly off again. "Don't judge me!" yelled Deadpool as he skidded off the floor.

Killer Bee wasn't taking any chances now knowing that his opponent is also a Jinchuriki so he ran after his opponent and caught up with him easily. Killer Bee tried to attack Deadpool as he continued to hit off the floor but every time he tried, Deadpool would pose in a awkward position which allowed him to dodge all of Bee's attacks. Deadpool's feet planted into the ground which gave him enough leeway to jump backwards to a safe distance.

"Good thing I got spares" said Deadpool while pulling out another pair of katana from nowhere. "Now come at me!" the Merc declared. To the confusion of many, Deadpool and Killer Bee suddenly vanished from view.

"Where did they go?"

"I can't see anything!"

"Did they runaway?"

The Kages and a view Jonin were the only ones who were able to see what was happening. Both Jinchuriki were moving so fast that the human eye can't keep up. A view jumped in surprise when a loud explosion echoed but there was no sign of one. Just a loud impact and the bristling of wind in the arena. What was causing the phenomenon was the Jinchuriki who were attacking each other in quick succession and with powerful strength. Several more sounds of explosions echoed before both Shinobi landed at the centre of the arena with a few feet seperating them. Their landing were harsh so the floor underneath them formed small craters. Everybody noticed how both Shinobi have a few brusises and cuts on each other even with the Chakra Cloak covering them.

"I don't know who you are or where your from but I'm getting excited so now look at me and come!" rapped Killer Bee which earned sweatdrops and boos from the audience.

"Oh dear Kami his rapping is awful! Show me mercy dear lord!" cried Deadpool dramatically while falling on his knees and staring up to the sky. Before Killer Bee could comment, Deadpool jumped St Bee with both swords in a reverse grip. Deadpool disappeared and reappeared behind Killer Bee who just stood where he was with a look of surprise etched onto his face. "Gotcha" whispered Deadpool. Two deep cuts slashed at both sides of Deadpool from all the way to where he stands and where he once stood. Debris flew into the air as well as Killer Bee who now has two deep cuts into his chest.

Deadpool's eyed widened when he felt two swords piercing his legs which caused him to collapse. Killer Bee had recovered from the attack and threw his swords into Deadpool's legs from the air. He landed gracefully but wobbled a bit due to the injuries impacted from his opponent's attack.

"My legs! I'll never be able to walk again!" cried Deadpool as he points at Bee in anger. "Curse you to hell!"

"You're a Jinchuriki so I'm sure that your good" said Killer Bee walking over to the down Deadpool. He took another one of his swords and placed it against Deadpool's throat which made him squeak in fear. "Now give up or I'll have to do some real damage" thrested Bee which caused Deadpool to shrink down in size.

Seeing that the match is over Mifune decided to call the match. "Winner of the Ken-" Mifune was interrupted when Deadpool impaled Killer Bee from his sitting position with both of his swords.

Killer Bee gasps out in shock and pain as he stumbles back. "I-I didn't even see him move."

"Time for a shiskebab" giggled Deadpool, getting up from the floor and pulling his swords out of Bee's torso. The Eight-Tailed Jinchuriki tried to jump away but the Mercenary was already behind him. Killer Bee shouts in pain when the same swords impaled him again. He tried to go on the defense and uses his swords to defend himself but Deadpool would just knock the swords away and continued to impale him.

The audience watch in horror as more holes appeared on Killer Bee's body. What made it worse was that the wounds were healing due to his Bijuu's Chakra and once healed they would reopen again when a katana goes through the body.

"Some here, another there oh and can't forget there" said Deadpool as he impales Bee over and over again. Killer Bee's shouts haunted the viewers as they were filled with pain. All the while, the Ninja in the crowds were wondering why Bee's Cloak wasn't protecting him.

"THATS ENOUGH!"

Deadpool blinked in confusion when his victim with holes disappeared in a blur of blue. The Raikage appeared at the entrance of the arena and allowed the medics to take his brother away to the infirmary. hid Bijuu may heal him from his injuries but it was better safe then sorry. Before following his brother to the infirmary, A turns and glares at Deadpool with all of his anger.

"I'll make you pay for that Deadpool. Swear of that" growled A so nobody would be able to hear him.

"Thank you. Thank you very much" said Deadpool in a Elvis Presley accent while finger shooting A. He is also wearing the white suit and wig of the King of Rock and Roll.

Mifune broke out of his silence and announced the winner of the Kenjutsu Tournament as well as the Ten Million Ryo prize money. "Winner of this year's Kenjutsu Tournament is..."

Deadpool raises both swords in the air and roars out "I am awesome!" as confetti fell from the sky.

"..Deadpool!"

"I am so touching myself tonight."

Page 14 of 14


	4. Chapter 4

( Two Days Later - Infirmary )

Tsunade couldn't hold back the sigh that escaped her lips. She is currently standing beside Yugao's bed while her friends, Anko and Kurenai stood at the end. She had told them about how Yugao is meant to wake up today and they haven't left the infirmary since. Everyone else has been ordered by herself to pack everything of theirs as they are gonna return to the Village once Yugao is fit to travel. It has been two days since Deadpool won the Kenjutsu tournament and nothing seems to be going easy.

The Raikage and Mizukage all began a series of manhunts for the masked man when the tournament ended because of different reasons that the Sannin knew. A would be mad since Deadpool literally turned his brother into a shiskebab and she could make a guess on why Mei would be searching for him but kept quiet about it. No point making more enemies then she should. So far, Deadpool hasn't been seen and is most likely out of Iron Country which Tsunade is thankful for since she couldn't be able to handle any of his hijinks any longer.

Kakashi would have been looking for Deadpool as well but Tsunade had him in a tight leash which he knew that if he broke, he would be punished badly.

"Lady Hokage!" yelled Shizune who looks like she is in a state of panic.

Tsunade sighed again and tried her best to not clench her teeth in frustration. "What is it now Shizune?"

Ignoring the tone of her mentor, Shizune shouted out "Kakashi has disappeared from his room!"

"He disappeared! I thought I told you to watch him!" asked Tsunade in almost uncontrolled anger.

"I did! I had Guy watch him since he had finished packing his supplies earlier today but when I went into Kakashi's room to speak with him, I saw Guy unconscious with the window open."

Tsunade could barely hold back her anger while she gave Shizune her orders. "I want you to send everyone out and find Kakashi before he finds Deadpool. With his Dog Contract, he will be able to find him soon enough and I can't have him doing anything rash while in a foreign land."

"Can't really blame him though" thought Shizune before dashing away to relieve Tsunade's orders. Kurenai and Anko quickly followed behind to help with the search for the Cyclop's Shinobi.

Tsunade began to pace in the room while praying to Kami that Kakashi didn't do anything stupid. She halted in her pacing when she heard Yugao speak something that she couldn't hear. Turning to the woman, Tsunade could see that the ANBU Captain is now awake and is trying to say something but instead went into a coughing fit.

Bringing her a drink of water, Yugao calmly took the cup and drank the water and gave a satisfied sigh while feeling the soothing water ease her throat before looking at the Sannin with eyes that clearly meant business.

"Lady Hokage, there is something I think you should know about Deadpool."

( Five Miles from Borderline )

Walking through the forest is Deadpool who is walking in a sedate pace while enjoying the scenery.

"Ah, this is what makes a day perfect. Beautiful flowers, birds chirping, squirrels fucking and a large ball of flaming gas in the sky to warm me up. Just brings a pleasant shiver up my spine" sighed Deadpool while hugging himself. "Or that could be just the Killing Intent that is being sent my way."

"Fire Style: Great Fireball Jutsu!"

"Oh SHIT!"

Deadpool barely dived out of the way when a large ball of fire exploded at where he once stood. Standing up and wiping the dust off himself, he looks up to the branches to see Kakashi with his Sharingan out and glaring bloody daggers at the Merc.

"Sup." Kakashi didn't answer as he instead threw a handful of kunai and shuriken at the Merc who quickly pulled out his swords and deflected the weapons with only one of them.

"Nice howdy doo to you two" said Deadpool with a sigh. Kakashi unsheated his own sword and used the branch he stood on to shoot himself off to Deadpool. The Merc crossed both of his katanas to block Kakashi's own attack but the force caused him to skid back a few feet. Kakashi used that momentum to trip him by kicking his left foot. Deadpool hadn't seen the move and couldn't stop himself from falling.

"This is starting to get old real fast."

With a quick flick of his hand, Kakashi's sword impaled Deadpool at where his heart his. "Now die so my student can rest in piece!" demanded Kakashi as he twisted the blade to cause Deadpool more pain and to ensure that he will die. He never expected for Deadpool to suddenly pop away into smoke. "A Shadow Clone!?" thought Kakashi as he looked around the forestry for his target.

"Student? Last time I checked, Sasuke is hanging around that Akatsuki group so unless you have another student that I don't know of then I got no clue what your on about" echoed Deadpool's voice.

"Where is he? I can't pinpoint his location anywhere. His voice is echoing in every direction" thought Kakashi. "I don't mean that traitor. I'm talking about my other student, Naruto Uzumaki. The same person who saved the Leaf Village from the Akatsuki's leader. The very same person who's grave you desecrated" responded Kakashi as he pulls out a Kunai in a reverse grip while holding his father's katana in his left hand.

Kakashi grew angry when the Mercenary began to laugh loudly like as if he just said one of the funniest jokes ever. "What's so damn funny!?" demanded Kakashi.

"Sorry *giggle* it's just that you actually saying that he was your student is just fucking hilarious! HAHAHAHA!"

"What do you mean by that!"

"I know a lot about you Kakashi. Son of the White Fang who committed suicide when he failed a mission to instead save his comrades but was shunned by the rest of the Village because of his heroic deeds. An A Rank Shinobi and is known as Kakashi of the Sharingan in the Bingo Books. Student of Minato Namikaze along with your comrades Obito Uchiha and Rin Nohara who both died in the Third Shinohi War. *giggle*.

"How does he know so much about me? Some of them are even A Class Secrets!? thought Kakashi.

Known as a prodigy and for copying a thousand Jutsu with his Sharingan. Sensai of Team 7 that once consisted of Sakura Haruno who is now student of Tsunade Senju, Sasuke Uchiha who has deserted the Leaf Village and trained underneath Orochimaru before killing said Sannin and joining the Akatsuki. Finally, Naruto Uzumaki.." Deadpool was interrupted by Kakashi who is glaring at the entire forest itself.

"Don't you say his name you filth!"

"Anyway~" sang Deadpool who wasn't one bit deterred by Kakashi's glare. "Naruto Uzumaki, Kyūbi Jinchuriki, Pariah of Konoha, Demon Brat, Abomination, Monster,.."

"Shut up!" shouted Kakashi as he launched several fireballs into the branches up above in hopes to hit the Mercenary.

"Oi, watch it! I'm just saying what everyone else did in Konoha. Known as a prankster, Naruto Uzumaki has failed the Genin Exam twice before passing after defeating the Chunin, Mizuki. *giggle*. Joined Team 7 later on while going on several missions which include, saving Spring Country, saving Demon Country, saving Vegetable County, saving the Leaf Village twice when he defeated Gaara during the Chunin Exams and defeating the Akatsuki leader, etc." Kakashi seemed to get prouder and prouder the more he realised that Naruto was truly one hell of a Shinobi.

"However~, he continued to be neglected, beatened, starved and even TRICKED by the very same Village he was supposed to protect!" Deadpool's voice began to get louder and madder the more he spoke about Naruto's life. "After everything he has done for those snot nosed little shitbags, they continue to treat him like garbage! After everything he has done for them! And how do they repay him! By locking him up in prison for a stupid box!" Kakashi's eyes widened in shock. He isn't suppose to know that.

"Surprised? Wasn't hard to figure out when there is a huge ass box at the bottom of the prison that is just begging to be open. Don't worry though, I'm taking good care of it." Kakashi finally realised how much of a danger Deadpool is if he has that box. "I had fun burning that prison down. I guess when you think about it, I'm also responsible for killing Naruto."

"You basterd!" yelled Kakashi as he threw a dozen kunai with explosive tags in every direction but failed to get Deadpool as his voice continued to echo.

"I know right, dick move. Anyway, back to where I was getting at. The reason that you aren't a sensai to him is because you taught him absolute...fuck..."

"...all"

Kakashi spun and swung his sword behind him from where he heard the voice. He narrowed his eyes in anger as he sees Deadpool standing a few feet away with his swords out, no damage done to him whatsoever.

"You don't know what you're talking about!" declared Kalashi as he charges at Deadpool and swings his sword which were all blocked and parried by Deadpool.

"Don't know what I'm talking about? I know that all you taught Naruto was how to walk on trees and how to better his Chakra control. While you did that, you provided Sakura with several Genjutsus while teaching Sasuke, several Fire Jutsus, Taijutsu techniques and even your own A Class Jutsu, Chidori" said Deadpool as he continued to dodge and block Kakashi's sword strikes which began to get more sloppy the more Deadpool spoke.

"It can't be true! I was there for him! I'm sure of it!" thought Kakashi but was kicked away by Deadpool. He continued to go through his memories of being with the blonde but most of it was blurred out with the Uchiha.

"The best part of the story is that he was your sensai's son and you did nothing to help him! You're no teacher, you're scum!" declared Deadpool while pointing at Kakashi with his katana.

Kakashi's eyes widened even more. He was surprised to hear that Deadpool knew that S Class Secret but it all suddenly collided into Kakashi like one of Guy's kicks. He didn't do anything for Naruto other then teach him on how to walk up trees. He hadn't given him any Jutsu or any other type of training. Instead, he favoured the Uchiha just because he has the same Bloodline as Obito. He wasn't even there for the blonde when he was young just because he reminded himself of his deceased father figure. Obito's words rang through Kakashi's head and he couldn't help himself but agree with him.

"Those who break the rules are trash but those who don't care for their friends are worse than trash."

"I'm worse than trash" Kakashi muttered as he collapsed in his knees.

"That's right Kakashi. You're worse then trash so live with the idea that you could've made a difference on Naruto's life. He might've lived if you gave a damn about him" mocked Deadpool while giggling away like a schoolgirl, enjoying the state of despair Kakahsi found himself in.

"Eight Trigrams Vacuum Wall!" shouted two voices from Deadpool's left. The Masked Merc could only glance to his left before he was blown off his feet from an unknown pressure and shot through a tree before colliding into the last one.

Kakashi looked up to see everyone but Tsunade and Yugao standing around him in different positions.

"Good thing we caught up when we did. Didn't look too good for you Kakashi" said Guy in a serious tone.

"Guy.." muttered Kakashi.

"Is he dead?" asked Kiba as he sat on Akamaru.

"Not likely. He has taken worse before" said Kurenai while preparing herself to use Genjutsu in case the Merc did anything.

"There is no possible way that he can get up from that. Lady Hinata and I have locked his Chakra points from our last move. If he is still alive, he won't be able to use Chakra.

"Wanna make a bet?" asked Deadpool while hanging one arm over the Hyūga's own. Everyone looked at Deadpool like they just saw a ghost.

"How did he get behind us without Hinata or Neji seeing him?" thought Kurenai in shock.

Neji turned and planted a palm to Deadpool's stomach which caused the Merc to skid away. "Yep, I'm gonna feel that one in the morning" muttered Deadpool while holding his stomach in pain.

"Leave before we do anything that you'll regret" ordered Shizune as Chakra Scalpels appear on her hands.

Kakashi didn't like the idea of the man who caused the death of Naruto to get away so he decided to tell everyone what the he had told him. "Don't! He was there at the prison! He is the one who burnt it down and he has the Box!" Everyone's eyes widened at that piece of information.

"He killed Naruto!" shouted Hinata in uncontrolled fury as she tries to run and plant to Palm Strike to Deadpool's face but was held back by Kiba and Lee.

"Don't. We need him alive. If he has the whereabouts of the Box then we're gonna need to bring him back to the Village, alive" said Shino while trying his best to hold his teammate back.

Deadpool noticed movement to his right and jumped away before Shikamaru's shadow could get close to him. The Mercenary landed on a branch but had to jump away when a explosive tag, courtesy of Anko, blew up the branch.

"You won't catch me alive!" declared Deadpool as he jumped through the branches to get away from his pursuers. "Maybe I shouldn't have told Kakashi so much" thought Deadpool but shrugged the worries away. He didn't get far before a kick to the side of his face launched him into another tree. "I'm getting my ass kicked more then I'm actually getting some ass!" exclaimed Deadpool as he slowly stands up and tries to get the kinks out of his neck. "And I thought that was impossible."

"Surrender or we shall snuff out your flames of youth!" shouted Guy and Lee as they are both standing side to side with each other while in their Hard Fist Fighting Stance.

"Ye shall not quench me flames of yuuth ash't I'm invincible!" shouted Deadpool in a Viking accent. He even has the Viking hat that has come out of nowhere. He then charges at the two Taijutsu specialists and started to go blow to blow with them. Their fight quickly escaleted from the branch they stood on and now they are jumping through the trees at each other while hitting each other a few times before jumping away.

"Leaf Hurricane!" shouted Guy and Lee as they both did a spinning air kick at Deadpool while still side by side. Deadpool dodged the incoming strikes by leaning back in a angle that shouldn't be possible unless the person wanted to break their back. With his head almost touching the branch they are on and looking up as both of his opponents flew over him, time seemed to slow down.

"I wonder if I would look good in green spandex" said Deadpool while admiring the clothes the Taijutsu specialists are wearing.

"Watch ya think?" he asked while referring to the readers.

"Yea your right, wouldn't be able to hide the blood" responded Deadpool like as if someone responded. Time continued normally as the green spandex wearers flew over Deadpool and stopped and got back into their stances. What they hadn't expected was Deadpool using his position to back flip and kick both of them in the face which caused both of them to hit into the trunk of the tree. That wasn't the end as Deadpool did a few more flips before landing with his back facing them. He spun on his left heel while raising his right leg for his kick. Seeing no possible way out, both fighters raised their arms to block the kick that would hit one of them but they found out that instead of one kick, Deadpool's legs blurred so fast that six legs could be what they could see.

Kick after kick hit them as Deadpool laughed while kicking them deeper and deeper into the tree trunk. He stopped when a barrage of kunai came his way which forced him to jump away.

"Sakura, Shizune, tend to Guy and Lee! Make sure that they're alright!" ordered Kurenai as she and the rest went after the masked man who just giggled away to himself.

Sakura went over to Lee and placed her glowing hands on Lee's chest. "They are alright. Just a bit bruised but nothing seems to be broken" said Sakura as she did her analysis on Lee.

"Same here." Shizune said with a relieved sigh. Looking around she noticed that Kakashi is gone as well. "Must've went after him along with everyone else."

( Two Miles from Sakura and Shizune )

"You can't hit me, you can't hit me..." chanted Deadpool as he continued to dodge all the incoming Jutsu's and attacks. When snakes from Anko came at him, he would slice them up in a blink of an eye. When Neji or Hinata tried to shut down his Chakra Points, he would bend in odd angles to dodge them. When a fireball or a Water Dragon was spat out of someone, he would counter with a Jutsu of his own or just jump away.

"Is running away all you can do!? Your just being a wimp!" shouted Kiba, trying to egg on the Mercenary in hopes that he would get angry and fight back.

It didn't work as Deadpool just shrugged and said "Wimp"s gotta do, what a wimp's gotta do." He later screamed when a kunai got stuck into his foot which caused him to lose his balance and fall to the floor. "I shall have my revenge" he yelled dramatically before crashing to the floor.

"Quick, detain him before he heals!" shouted Anko. Shikamaru quickly attached his shadow to Deadpool's to detain him. Choji enlarged his arm and grabbed Deadpool with one fist. Everyone else dispersed around the area to make sure that he couldn't get away in any direction.

"A bit mellow dramatic but I respect the dedication" said Deapool with a grin.

"What now?" asked Tenten. She would prefer to stick a kunai in the merc's face to avenge Naruto but they needed him for information about the Box of Ultimate Bliss.

"Now we bring him back to the Village and have Ibiki and Anko play a few 'games' with him" said Kurenai with a smirk. Anko grins at the thought of torturing the man who killed her love interest and for embarrassing her.

"Oh? How fun! Are we gonna play Monopoly!? I call being the shoe!"

"Shut up!" shouted Kiba as he punched Deadpool in the face.

"You call that a punch! I've felt worse from your mother" laughed Deadpool while Kiba grew red in anger.

"You're lucky we need you alive or I'd gut you right now" snarled Kiba while brandishing his claws.

"Ohh~ Nice manicure, where can I get one like that" asked Deadpool who's response was another punch in the face.

"Careful Kiba. We don't need to get brain damage" warned Neji with a glare.

"I think it's a bit late for that~" sang Deadpool in a cheery tone.

"Why can't we just get Ino to look into his mind and get the information from there" asked Hinata while glaring daggers at Deadpool who noticed the look of absolute hate he was getting from the heriess and responded by making kissing noises to her which just increased her anger.

"Are you kidding me?! There is no way I'm going into that maniac's head. He is clearly mentally damaged so my Jutsu would just do more harm then good. For all I know, I'll end up as mad as him."

"Damn right girlfriend!" shouted Deadpool who got punched again but by Anko and with more strength. "Will you stop hitting me!"

"I'd hate to interfere with everyone but how about tying him up before me and Choji run out of Chakra?" asked Shikamaru. The shaking of the shadow and Choji's arms indicated that they are both struggling to hold him for so long.

"Sorry about that. Hinata, Neji, I need both of you to close off his Chakra points while Shikamaru and Choji release him. Okay?" asked Kurenai, getting nods from her student and Neji who both got into their stances and prepared each other to close the insane man's Chakra Network. Kurenai herself, prepared ninja wire to tie up the Mercenary when he gets rendered helpless.

"On three." Shikamaru and Choji nodded their heads to Kurenai while she began counting. "One..." Shikamaru's shadow began to waver while Choji lightened his grip on Deadpool. "Two..." The shadow started to shake even more and is on the verge of disconnecting from Deadpool's own. Choji's grip is now light enough for Deadpool to move his arms a bit if it wasn't for Shikamaru's shadow.

"THREE!" screamed Deadpool as he literally exploded. Choji shouts in pain while flying back from the explosion and holding his burnt hand which is covered in third degree burns in hopes to lessen the pain.

"It was a Shadow Clone!" shouted Shikamaru in distress as he tried to keep the flying debris out of his eyes. Everything suddenly went dark for him when he felt pain on the back of his neck.

"Neji!" shouted Hinata as she sees Deadpool over the unconscious Nara.

"Right!" responded Neji as he and his cousin charge at Deadpool.

"Oh no you don't. Earth Style: Extreme Quake!" declared Deadpool as he went through five hand signs before slamming his palm into the floor. The effect was immediate as the ground began to shake and crack from the sudden pressure. This has also caused Neji and Hinata to lose their balance since they didn't have enough time to apply Chakra to their feet. Deadpool did, so in a blur of red and black, he landed a knee to Neji's chin and a spin kick to Hinata's side. Both Hyūga were launched away in pain. Taking out his katana, Deadpool used it to delect the barrage of shuriken that Tenten threw at him.

All of a sudden, the floor began to get very hot for the Mercenary which was quickly explained when flames erupted from the very floor and engulfed him.

"I got him in my Genjutsu. Shino, drain his Chakra" ordered Kurenai while applying as much Chakra as she can for her next Genjutsu. Shino nodded and sent his swarm to Deadpool so they can eat away at his Chakra. They never made it to their target as several sliver blurs appeared around them and then they all began to fall to the floor in a pile of blood and parts. Shino was so shocked to see so many if his colony dead that he didn't see the powerful gust of wind till it collided into him.

Kurenai cursed when Shino fell to the floor, unconscious when he collided with a tree after Deadpool used a Wind Style: Great Breakthrough Jutsu on him. "When did he even escape my Genjutsu?" thought Kurenai in frustration. She could finally understand why the insane man is classed as a S-Rank Shinobi. She used her kunai to block two sword strikes but couldn't dodge the third that sliced her on his left arm. She ducked underneath a kick but couldn't dodge when Deadpool spun a full 360° and kicked her feet from under her. She didn't meet the floor since Deadpool spun again but this time, he kicked her face with force that made her spin herself and landed on the floor, in pain.

"You basterd!" snarled Kiba. "Fang over Fang" he shouted as he and Akamaru spun at Deadpool.

"Down boy!" yelled back Deadpool as he spun past them while sheathing back his swords. Next thing Kiba knew, he felt a large amount of pain from all over his body. He blacked out from the pain but if he were to see his body then he would see that it is covered in deep gashes which could be infected if not quickly handled.

"And another foe hits the dust as Deadpool goes on a rampage. The crowds go wild for the Regenerative Degenerate" said Deadpool as camera flashes surround him as he posed for the 'cameras'.

"Chidori!"

Nobody had seen Kakashi move behind Deadpool until he shouted the name of his personal Jutsu which just so happened to go through Deadpool's chest from the back. Deadpool didn't look like he expected it either as his eyes and mouth widened as Kakashi's lightning covered hand tore through his body, the exact spot where his heart is.

"Die you fucking demon. I may have not been a proper sensai or person to Naruto but the first and last good thing I'll do for him is kill the man who took him away from his loved ones" Kakashi whispered into his ear as Deadpool struggled to breath.

"Kakashi, you idiot. We needed him alive so we can find the Box of Ultimate Bliss!" shouted Anko who as well as everyone who is conscious, are shocked to see Kakashi do something so impulsive. Kakashi didn't respondt. Deadpool seemed to be using all of his remaining strength to just stand up.

"You...know...Kakashi...you surprised...me. I...expected...you..to break...from my...speech. Bravo...*pant*."

"Like I need to feel proud of that. Just do us all a favour and die" scoffed Kakashi as he increases the lightning to fry Deadpool's insides. He already knows that he can heal from a Chidori to the chest so he was making sure that Deadpool died for real.

"If..I had..a..Ryo...for..every time...*pant*..someone...said that...to...me" muttered Deadpool as he fell to his knees.

"Well, we may as well find out who he is now" muttered Ino as she walked over to the dying man and grabbed the bottom of his mask. With a quick tug, his mask came off and Ino's eyes widened at what she saw.

"Another mask! Seriously!? shouted Anko is obvious annoyance which was shared among everyone else. Underneath Deadpool's red and black mask is the same mask.

"Surprised?" asked Deadpool is jagged breaths.

Kurenai narrows his eyes at the masked man in wonder. "How are you not dead yet?" she asked which also got everyone else wondering the same. Not even true Jinchruiki could survive without a heart. Strangely, sweat began to cascade down Deadpool's mask as he looked to be nervous about something.

"Oh, the pain, the pain!" he cried out dramatically. "Romeo, Romeo, oh where art thou Romeo" cried Deadpool while looking into a skull which he pulled out of nowhere.

"Look at his wound!" exclaimed Ino, pointing at the gaping hole in Deadpool's chest. Everyone looked into it to see steam pouring out of it as flesh and bone began to grow back into place. It would have made them sick if it wasn't for the fact that they are all trained killers. An awkward silence pierced the forest as everyone stared down at the fully healed Deadpool who just stared back up at them.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Look at the time. I best be off before the missus begins to worry. Exit stage left" said Deadpool as he got up and calmly walked away from the group of Kunoichi and Shinobi. They didn't like that idea as they began to follow pursuit again.

"The race is back on folks!"

( Sakura and Shizune's Location )

As Shizune and Sakura patched up the bowl-haired duo, Tsunade and Yugao jumped into the clearing. Before the Kunoichi could say anything, Tsunade was up in their faces and looked like a demon on a mission. "Where is he!? Where is Deadpool!?" demanded Tsunade as she looked over the damaged terrain which showed that some sort of battle had happened.

Seeing their mentor in a state of no humour, Sakura responded to her question but oddly wondered why she wasn't looking for Kakashi as that was their orders. "He ran towards east with everyone else following him. He apparently has information about the Box of Ultimate Bliss and even confessed to burning the prison down and killing Naruto" she said the last part with a lot of anger in her voice. She and Shizune expected Tsunade to go in a angry fit before giving chase to the Mercenary before smashing him into bits.

Instead, she looked even more worried then anything else.

"They've gone after him? Is Kakashi with them?"

"Umm, yes he is."

"Crap. Yugao, help them bring Lee and Guy to a safer location. I'll go farther ahead and try to stop this mess before it gets any worse." Yugao nodded her head to her leader before the Sannin ran through the forest. Yugao bent down to pick up Lee and hanged his arm over her shoulder or make it easier to carry him.

"What is wormg with Lady Tsunade, Yugao? She seemed strange to me" said Sakura as she stared at the trees which Tsunade jumped through.

"It's because there is a high possibility that Naruto is alive and that he is Deadpool" was Yugao's blunt reply as she walked away with Lee.

"Eh?"

( One Mile from Borderline )

"Deadpool sees the home stretch! He goes for it" said Deadpool as he picks up the pace towards the Country border.

"Leaf-Style Taijutsu: Human Bullet Tank!" Deadpool was stopped in his tracks when Choji literally rolled over Deadpool.

"I'm home mommy" murmured Deadpool as he pulls himself out of the ground. Five chains then wrapped around him which all came from Tenten who is holding a large sealing scroll which the chains are coming out of. "Is tying people up one of Konoha's kinks?" asked Deadpool who pouted when everyone ignored him. Neji ran behind Deadpool and struck at the back of his neck which caused the Merc to go into unconsciousness. "Nighty night" yawned Deadpool before he succumbed into unconsciousness.

Five minutes later and Deadpool is now fully secured with ninja wire tied around his arms and legs while a Chakra Suppressing Seal is attached to his chest.

Just then, Tsunade jumped in front of them and looked around frantically. "Where is he!? Did you capture Deadpool yet?" asked Tsunade. Before anyone could answer, she saw the unconscious form of Deadpool and appeared beside him in half a second.

"Did she just use Hiraishin?" thought Kakashi as he has only seen his mentor move that fast.

Crouching down, Tsunade brought her shaking hands to Deadpool's mask and grabbed the bottom of it. After a minute of silent thinking, she slowly pulled up the mask which showed skin so everyone knew that he isn't wearing another mask. She choked up a sob when the mask passed his cheeks which are covered with three whisker marks on each cheek. With one last pull, the mask fell off to show the face of Naruto Uzumaki.

Everyone else were beyond shocked to see that the supposed dead hero is actually the insane Mercenary. Especially, Kakashi who couldn't take his eyes off the blonde or stop the tears that are threatening to fall down his face. Tears began to pool in Anko's, Tenten and Hinata's eyes at seeing the now alive blonde. Questions are flowing through Neji, Sai's and Kurenai's minds as they couldn't find an answer for Naruto's actions.

"Bring everyone togethor. We are leaving for Konoha. It's tome that we got some answers" whispered Tsunade just loud enough for everyone to hear. Everyone nodded, some reluctant while others were quick. Everyone but Tsunade blurred away to find everyone else.

"Why..."

(Konoha - TI Building - Prison Block )

"And the kitty cat said woof" slurred out Naruto as he blinked his eyes open. Still tied up with the Chakra Suppressor Tag on, he did his best to get his face off the floor. After succeeding, he glances around to see that he is in a prison cell.

"Well fuck. This never ends well" said Naruto while looking around his cell. There is a flat bed that is attached to the wall with one pillow and a thin blanket on it. In the corner is a toilet which made Naruto wonder how he could use it since he is still tied up. Feeling a draft, the blonde looks down on his person and gaped when he sees himself only in his white boxers with heart shapes adorned on them.

"Naked, tied up and in a cold dingy cell" mutters Naruto as he starts to tear up. "Yep, it's a rape scene."

The sounds of footsteps bounced off the walls and from the heaviness of the noise, it is getting closer. They stopped when a large man wearing a black trench coat and a bandana appeared in front if Naruto's cell. The man gave off an intimidating pressure which increased by the powerful look in his eyes and the two scars on his face. This man is Ibiki Morino and he is the head of the TI department. At both sides of him are a pair of ANBU.

"Naruto Uzumaki. It's been a while" said Ibiki as he folds his arms in front of himself.

"Ibiki!" yelled Naruto joyously. How's my second favourite interrogator going? Good?" Ibiki never got to answer as Naruto continued. "That's good. I see that you're as dashing as ever. Any lucky lady yet? No? What about a lucky guy? Don't worry, I don't judge.." Naruto keeps rambling on as Ibiki frowns.

"This is strange. I can't seem figure him out" thought Ibiki. All over the Elemental Nations, Ibiki is known as a professional on figuring out people from just watching their body language. It's one of his many traits that has gotten him the head of TI position. But for once in his life, he couldn't figure out Naruto. He has seen the blonde many times before in the past and he could tell his body language easily enough but not this time. Naruto is swinging his body left and right in a easy pace which gave an impression of a child who just got a new toy but the way his body tenses shows that he is prepared for any surprises. The most difficult body language that Ibiki couldn't figure out is his eyes.

Naruto's blue eyes that once possessed a shine to them like no other is now a inner pit of emptiness. Ibiki can actually see that some of the blue in the inner part of Naruto's eyes have gotten darker in colour, something Ibiki has never seen before, even in the prisoners he has tortured and broken. The amount of emptiness in his eyes just plain scared the scarred man and not a lot of things scare him lately. Even the ANBU who are trained to be emotionless, flinched when they got a look into Naruto's eyes.

"I was supposed to get some info out of you but it seems like the Council has some different idea. They want you to be brought to them in the Council Chamber once you've awoken" said Ibiki as he opens the cell door.

"Then letsss go" hissed Naruto as he fell face first to the floor and slides himself out of the cell.

"We can untie those restraints off you, you know. However, we will be keeping that Suppressor Seal on you" said Ibiki as he tries his best to not sweat drop from Naruto's snake impression.

"No thankssss. I got thisss" hissed Naruto with a grin. Five minutes were spent with Naruto gliding along the floor while hissing like a snake. One of the ANBU, Bird, lost his patience with the blonde so he went to pick up Naruto and just Shunshin to the Council Chambers. He grabbed the ninja wire that is being used to restrain Naruto and was about to Shunshin away until Naruto suddenly shouted.

"I SAID I FUCKING GOT THIS!" roared Naruto in untold fury. This caused the ANBU to suddenly drop him and take a few steps back. The two ANBU were struggling to breadth from the large amount of Killing Intent Naruto is unleashing.

"O-Ok. I w-wont d-do it a-again" stuttered Bird as he waved his hands around to show he means no harm.

Naruto's anger and the KI suddenly disappears and the blonde smiles in a carefree manner. "Good. Now let'sss get moving" giggled Naruto as he slithered down the hallway. The ANBU didn't immediately follow him as they are trying to come out of their sudden fear of the blonde Jinchuriki.

"That's the person who saved us?" asked Bird in a unsure manner. He has read the report of Naruto and the information so far isn't too reliable. He is suppose to be kind, understanding and immature and so far, the only thing he has been is immature but mostly random.

"Why did you have to touch him?" sighed Horse, shaking her head in disappointment.

"How was I suppose to know that he'd react like that?" asked Bird as he couldn't believe that his partner is actually blaming him for that.

"Let's just go"

( Council Chamber )

In the centre of the room in a large U-Shaped desk. At the left side of the desk is the Civilian Council which consisted of five elected individuals. At the right side is all of the Clan Heads which consist of the Hyūga, Inuzuka, Nara, Akimichi, Yamanaka, Aburame and the empty Uchiha seat. At the head of the table is an emotionless Tsunade with the elders, Homura and Koharu, at both of her sides.

"Where is the brat? Why are we waiting for that thing when he should be rotting in his cell right now" growled a Inoha, a wealthy merchant who sells everything from jewelry to weaponry which gets him income from both the Civilian side of the Village and the Ninja side.

Inoha jumped when Tsunade's cold eyes suddenly went cold and looked at him. "I'd watch your mouth if I were you Civilian. You are disrespecting the very same person who has saved this Village more times then anyone else and he is the only reason that you aren't six feet under right now. May I also remind you that it's because of Naruto that we have so many trade agreements that allow you purchase and sell your goods" said Tsunade.

"I wouldn't go that far" muttered Inoha who froze when all of the Clan Heads and the Hokage glares at him and the other Civilian members who all agreed with Inaho's words. To them, once a demon, always a demon.

Before anymore words could be spoken, a knock on the door indicated that someone has arrived. "Come in" shouted Tsunade in slight nervousness. Anyone would be if their surrogate son who they thought was dead turns out to be alive and is a S Rank Shinoni who is wanted by the other four Ninja Villages. She had spent the rest of the trip back to raise her mind defences and emotions so she can prepare herself to meet Naruto again.

The doors suddenly bursts open by the still tied up and naked Naruto who fell flat on his face again but with a smile.

"Good evening everyone."

Everyone just blinked at Naruto's odd entrance and his state of attire. "Why isn't he dressed and still tied up" asked Tsunade while narrowing her eyes at the two ANBU.

"He told us that he didn't want to get untied so I left him be" responded Bird. Before Tsunade could shout at the ANBU, she sees that Naruto has disappeared from his spot.

"Where did Naruto go?" Her answer came from a hiss up above. Everyone looked up to the ceiling and all gaped when they see Naruto slithering on the ceiling.

"I'm a sssilly sssnake. Very sssilly" hissed Naruto joyously.

"Isn't he still wearing those Chakra restraints?" whispered Shikaku who wasn't so sure if he should say troublesome or is he should just ignore the strange phenomenon. Hiashi nodded his head after scanning Naruto's body with hi Byakugan which showed him that Naruto isn't using any Chakra.

"Naruto, get down here now" shouted Tsunade. With a loud popping sound, Naruto suddenly found him unstuck and falling to the floor.

"Fine, fine" muttered Naruto as he gets up and hops over to the front of the U-Shaped Table.

"How did you do that?" asked Hiashi as he is curious about how the blonde could climb up the ceiling without Chakra.

"Do what?"

"Never mind that. We have a few questions for you Naruto and we aren't leaving till they are answered. First off, Bird, cut off his restraints but keep the Suppressor Seal on" said Tsunade while eyeing Naruto with a stern glare. Bird nodded his head and carefully sliced off the restraints while watching Naruto in case he went into another anger fit. All Naruto did is smirk at Bird who got unnerved by the way the blonde is looking at him. After taking the bindings off, Bird went back into his hiding spot.

"Take a seat" said Tsunade while pointing at the chair in the centre of the U-Shaped table. He did just that. He walks over to the chair and literally took it into his hands. "Nice. Velvet leather with Oakwood." Everyone got disturbed when Naruto began to rub his face against the chair. Tsunade couldn't believe what she is seeing. The signs are perfectly clear for her and everyone else in the room. As a doctor she has seen many broken people and a mere glance at Naruto's eyed is evidence enough that he is mentally broken. She just needed to know how badly he is mentally damaged. She gave a look to Inoichi who knew what the gesture meant and he sadly nodded his head.

Naruto Uzumaki, son of Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki, Saviour of Konoha is mentally insane.

"I meant sit down" Naruto seemed to take a while to think on her words before his went "Ahh." Putting the chair down and taking a seat, Naruto crossed his legs and placed his hands on his knee while looking at everyone with amusement.

"Naruto, how are you alive? The prison has been burnt to the ground with everyone dead" asked Tsume who is trying her best to not stare at Naruto's abs.

"Why that's simple. I'm the one who burnt it to the ground" laughed Naruto. This surprised everyone but that susprised quickly changed to either anger or annoyance when an uproar went up in the Council room as the Civilians began shouting insults and demanding his execution.

"Lady Hokage, you can't possibly think about not executing him now! He just admitted to killing everyone in the prison!"

"I knew it! I knew he is a de-" Suki, owner of several restaurants and the main reason why Naruto was always kicked out of any restaurant he entered when he was younger, never finished as a dark aura enveloped Naruto as he stares at her with a grin.

"Come on, say it. Say it and let me see the blood roll" thought Naruto with a chuckle. Suki realised that she was close to breaking the S-Class secret which would have gotten her killed. And from the look on Naruto's face, he knew it as well.

"This is the respect the Hero of Konoha gets after saving all of your lives!" shouted Tsume in anger. As an Inuzuka, she thinks highly of loyalty and seeing the Civilians act like such children just bugged her.

"Quiet! We came here to speak with Naruto. Not argue with ourselves!" shouted Tsunade.

"I have a question for him" said Inoha, standing up. "When you were detained, our Shinobi never found the scroll with the prize money from the Kenjutsu tournament. Would you mind explaining where it is?" Inaho and the rest of the Civilians began to daydream about what they would do with that money once they get their hands on it. The Clan Heads and Tsunade scowl and glare at the Civilians but Naruto didn't seem too bothered by the greedy question.

"Spent it."

"What do you mean you spent it!" roared Inaho, not believing that someone could spend that much money in so little time.

"As I said, I spent it. There is nothing left. I made a lot of bad decisions that in the moment, felt awesome."

"Sit down Inaho" growls Tsunade.

Grumbling, Inaho sat back down but glares at Naruto who smiles a bit too sweet for his liking. Standing up, Inoichi asks, "I have a question. Why didn't you return to the Village if you escaped the prison?"

Naruto gave the Yamanaka member a look that screams "Are you serious?"

"You're joking, right? Why would I go back to this shithole when I finally had a chance for freedom The very same Village that threw me away like garbage which, may I remind you, is the same thing they treated as since I was born." Naruto said it like it is the simplest explanation ever. Tsunade couldn't comprehend what she is hearing. That isn't something that Naruto would say about the Village.

"You're speaking on borderline treason. You're lucky that you're not rotting in a cell right now" said Homura with a frown.

"Like I give a damn about that. This Village and everyone in it can suck my impressive looking dick for all I care! You all used me over and over again! In fact, I remember every little detail about what everyone has done to me in this very room. I'm looking at you Clan Heads!" he shouted while dramatically pointing at the Clan Heads who began to sweat.

"What does he mean by that" asked Tsunade while glancing at the Clan Heads who didn't look to comfortable at the moment.

"You didn't know? Shame, I think it makes for a good bed time story. The story starts when a four year old Naruto was just kicked out of the orphanage for being something he couldn't control. As the poor, homeless and hungry little child began his trek across the Village, hoping to find a source of food, six Clan Head who all decided to have a meeting out togethor discovered the frightened child in the middle of the night. Instead of being a good Samaritan, they all looked down on the child with bloodlust." The Clan Heads began to sweat even more while Tsunade's famous glare began to come out again.

"Faking kindness, the six Clan Heads tricked the little child into a dark alley and that's when the fun truly began. Ahh, I still remember it like it was yesterday. Feeling Inoichi sticking kunai into the most sensitive parts of the child's body, Shikaku choking him with his shadow, Hiashi piercing his Chakra points with his Clan's techniques, Tsume clawing at the four year old and letting her dog chew on him like a toy, Chõza crushing the child's small and weak bones and Shibi sending all of his creepy crawlies into the little one's ears and nose. Truly awe inspiring."

Right now, Tsunade is glaring at the Clan Heads with every bit of hatred she could unleash while said Clan Heads are either looking down in shame or shaking from Tsunade's KI.

"We were wrong, okay! We lost a lot of our Clan members during the Kyūbi attack and we were blinded by hate! We're sorry! Is that what you wanted to hear" shouted Shikaku, for once not in his lazy mood. He like every other Clan Head has felt awful about what they did to the blonde and has tried to think of ways to repay him back but they noticed that he didn't seem to react when he met them again so they all decided to keep quiet and hopefully imagine that the blonde has just simply forgotten about that night.

"Fu~ck you" was Naruto's clever response.

"What happened to you Naruto! What happened to the Naruto that would scream about being Hokage!? This isn't who out are!" yelled Tsunade as she slams her hands on the table. She could understand the hate for the Clan Heads and Civilians but he hasn't ever shown any distaste for them and tried his best to make them se that he isn't a demon.

"No it isn't. You can thank yourself for that" he said with a grin witch caused Tsunade to flinch involuntarily. "Don't think I don't know what you and the other shitheads for Kages did. Thinking that I could make a great scapegoat to lure out the Box of Ultimate Bliss. At least your right though. I did find a pretty box in the bottom of the prison." Everyone's breath hitched at his words. He found the box.

"Naruto, I need you to listen carefully and answer truthfully" said Tsunade with sweat pouring down her face. She isn't the only one making a sweat because everyone, even the elders are sweating at the idea of Naruto having and using the box against the Village.

"Shoot."

"Where is the box."

"That's for me to know and for you to never find out" giggled Naruto, enjoying the looks of nervousness, anger and disbelief on everyones faces.

"Listen here you little runt! You either tell us where the box is right now or we force it out of ya!" shouted Inaho with the rest of the Civilian Council roaring their concent.

"Oh? Force it out if me? And how do you suppose you do that my cheerful fat merchant?" asked Naruto. Inaho went red in anger and was about to retort until Tsunade released her KI to quiet everyone down.

"Council member, Inaho, it would be wise of you to shut the fuck up for the rest of the meeting or I'll have you kicked out of the room. Understand?!" yelled Tsunade, having enough of the Civilians childishness. Inaho nodded and sat down although reluctantly. Naruto however, didn't wasn't finish with him.

"That's a good little bitch."

"Naruto!" yelled Tsunade, unleashing her KI again but Naruto just shrugged it off like it is nothing. "This isn't a game. You can't understand the dangers that box possesses. Where is the Box of Ultimate Bliss!?"

"Ha! Like I'd tell any of you shitheads" laughed Naruto which earned him glares from everyone in the room.

"I'd watch myself if I were you pup. We might not be so lenient if you keep acting like that" growled Tsume. She and everyone else jumped and shivered in fright when Naruto's facial impression suddenly went from crazy to downright insane. The way his grin almost split his face and how his empty eyes just seems to stare into their very souls caught everyone off guard.

"Is that a threat miss Inuzuka? I like threats" giggled Naruto who began to swing on his chair which gave off and even more freaky vibe.

Doing her best to not look disturbed, Tsunade says "Naruto. If you don't tell us where the box is then I'm afraid that I'll have to send you to Ibiki to get the information out of you."

"Oh? You'd fuck me over again just because of some stupid box? To think that I once called you granny" he spat out. Tsunade winced and looked away from Naruto's eyes that are currently glaring holes into her skull.

"Is that your final answer?" asked Homura with a stern glare.

"Nope. This is" responded the blonde while giving everyone the finger.

"ANBU! Take him away" ordered Koharu as the same two ANBU appeared and dragged Naruto out of the room.

"Oh, you've done it now! You're all now on top of my shit list!" roared Naruto as he was dragged away.

When he left, everyone began to discuss with each other.

"Troublesome. It looks like we have lost a hero" said Shikaku sadly.

Tsunade just sat in her chair and stares down at the table in sadness. She knew she shouldn't have sent Naruto and now he is mentally broken. She could barely control herself when she noticed the smirks on the Civilians faces. "Sick basterds. I should have them out of a job!" thought Tsunade in anger.

"FREEDOM!"

An explosion suddenly shakes the Council Room and an ANBU runs into the room. "Naruto Uzumaki has escaped! He's heading towards the gates!"

"Stop him! We can't have him leaving without getting info on the Box of Ultimate Bliss!" ordered Koharu.

"Naruto..."

Page 17 of 17


	5. Chapter 5

**This is sort of a half-ass try since its been a while since I updated it.**

 **Enjoy.**

( Konoha - TI Building )

Tiptoeing his way down the hallway in the Torture and Intelligence Department is none other than the still naked Naruto who is humming the Mission Impossible theme song while he moves from wall to wall.

Peaking through a doorway, he rolls across and army crawls down until he notices a door to the right.

"Ah~. Just what I'm looking for" muttered Naruto as he army crawls his way towards the door while at the same time, ignoring the loud alarm which has been blaring all across the Village ever since he 'skillfully' got away from the ANBU.

( Flashback )

As Naruto walks down the stairway with his guards beside him, he thinks of a plan so amazing, he can't see any possible way it can't work. Moving fast, he spins around and before any of the ANBU can detain him, he crouches and pulls down the female ANBU's pants, showing him and Bird her red lace panties.

"Lace. Nice~~" commented Naruto with a grin.

Horse looks down at her pant-less legs, Naruto and then back to her legs before her she clenches her fists and throws a right punch down at Naruto. Smirking, Naruto rolls back in time for Horse to hit her fist against the rock floor, denting it but also causing her fist to swell up. "Mother fucker!" she cursed at the feeling of her bones braking in her hand. Bird, having gotten distracted with his partner's current situation unsheathes his tanto but only has it out halfway until Naruto sweeps his legs from his still crouch position. At the same time he falls, Naruto flips forward and hangs his leg out and at the same time Bird bounces off the floor, Naruto's foot lands on his chest, thus slamming him back into the floor but harder. He coughs in pain before falling into blissful unconsciousness.

After pulling up her pants and shaking off the pain of her broken hand, Horse takes a roundhouse kick to Naruto who leans his back into a perfect L-shape to dodge the kick. She quickly spins on her heel and when her foot touches the floor, she uses it to balance herself as she uses her other leg to rise and bring down on Naruto. Naruto places his hands onto the floor, leans his back even more and does a perfect straight handstand so Horse's kick will have miss him by an inch. Her foot hits the floor but this time, she has it coated with Chakra to strengthen her muscles and bones.

Doesn't do much when Naruto uses his handstand position to spin on the floor from his head and hangs his feet out so they kick Horse's face. With the speed of his spin, Naruto kicks her three times per second and after the fifth second, he spins on one hand and concentrates all his Chakra-less strength into one last kick which smashes her mask and knocks her out.

Jumping back to his feet, Naruto staggers from dizziness. "Wicked ride" he muttered before tripping on his feet. Feeling the Chakra Suppressor Seal on his back, he reaches his arms behind him but just as it was purposed, his hands can't reach the centre of his back. "Looks like I'll have to do this the hard way." Putting a bit more strength into his arms, Naruto reaches farther back, a noticeable crunching and cracking sound echoing from his arm by pushing them to their limits. He can feel them strain and on the verge of dislocating but ignores it when he gets a hold onto the Seal. Without a care for how the Seal is attached to his skin, he rips it off, along with a perfect rectangle shape of his skin but with the Seal gone, his skin hisses as steam pours out and heals itself.

Hearing noise behind him, he gets up and runs down the hallway but not before shouting "FREEDOM!", hitting his shoulder against the wall and diving through the double doors.

( Flashback End )

Naruto's head pokes out from the bottom of the door before rising up and somehow, he rises up to the top of the doorway and hits his head. "Son of a..." he cursed, rubbing his head. Ignoring the throbbing of his head, Naruto looks into the room and narrows his eyes when he sees something he doesn't like. The room he is currently looking in is the storage room which they hold the items of all the prisoners and from the red and black spandex outfit which he can see on the table, the box the lone Shinobi is going through is none other than his own.

"Oh, you are so dead" he thought before he sinks back down to the floor and army crawls his way towards the unexpecting Chunin.

Said Chunin is under orders by Council Member Inaho to find the scroll which contains the prize money Naruto had won from the Kenjutsu Tournament.

He lifts up the twin swords and admires their quality. "These are some fine blades. I could get a good price outta these" he said to himself, unknown to him that Naruto is right behind and has his hands behind his head in a choking motion but he stops when he hears what the Chunin just said.

If there is one thing Naruto is, he is very privy of people taking his stuff. Something in which he manifested after suppressing all the pain from years of everyone taking everything of value he had when he was a child. With his mind broken, all his memories are now wide open for him to read.

"This might get a bit graphic so..." whispered Naruto who looks at the readers and tilts away the camera view so it looks at the doorway. The next minute or so is spent with the sounds of bones breaking, muffle screams and a lot of other very graphic sounds. At one point, the Chunin falls on his stomach and crawls towards the doorway but Naruto grabs his feet and pulls him back. "I ain't finished with you yet."

"NOOOOO!" screamed out the Chunin while his finger nails scrape the floor and a trail of blood follows him.

"Sell my swords will ya! I'm gonna cut your nuts off and sell those in the black market and we'll see how you like it!" exclaimed Naruto in fury, intending to do just that.

"Halt!" came a shout from the doorway. Taking his attention away from the bruised and maimed Chunin at his feet, Naruto sees another Nin but from the flak jacket, he can tell that he is a Jonin. A different class than the whimpering piece of crap at his feet.

And just like any madman who likes the wear spandex, Naruto answers with a "Sup" and a wave of his hand. The Jonin doesn't seem to agree with the kind gesture since he throws a handful of shuriken. Grabbing the Chunin at his feet, Naruto uses his cripple body as a meat shield to take in the weapons. The Jonin looks shock at the sight of the Village Hero using a Leaf Nin as a shield and Naruto uses that shock to his advantage by throwing the Chunin at the Jonin who sidesteps away from the door to dodge the body which goes "Splat" when it hits the wall and slides down with a trail of blood following it.

Naruto runs towards the door and when then Jonin appears back to the door with a kunai on hand, Naruto jumps and kicks off his chest which has the Jonin hit the fall and land on the bloody corpse and has Naruto back flip to his feet.

The Jonin shoots back to his feet but Naruto has already took the kunai he dropped and throws it at the Jonin who twists his body to dodge the weapon. He twists his body back and throws a punch at the incoming Naruto but he ducks under the blow and throws a fist of his own and from the way the wind is spinning around his arm, the punch is powerful. The Jonin uses his other arm to block the blow but Naruto's punch easily goes through it and connects with the Jonin's face. The Jonin's head jerks back into the wall and the upper half of his torso sticks into the wall as well.

"And that's that" said Naruto, wiping the invisible dust away from his hands. His badass pose seems ruined because of his lack of attire being only his heart-covered boxers. Turning around, he heads back into the room and puts on his gear, starting off with his spandex outfit, his kunai and shuriken pouch, his twin katana blades and finally, his mask.

"Much better" Deadpool sighed happily before spinning in his heel and skipping merrily out of the room.

"Oink?"

"Hmm?" hummed Deadpool, turning his head down the hallway to see a surprise-looking pig who he remembers to be Tonton, Tsunade's pet pig.

"Why hello~ dinner" said Naruto while rubbing his hands togethor, his mask hiding away his expression of hunger. It's been a while since he got something to eat and what better than porkchops with a dash of sausages at the side.

"Oink!"

"Exactly."

( Akimichi Barbeque )

Sitting around the table in one if the many Akimichiowned restaurants in the Village are the remainder of the Konoha 11 and Sai. It's usually there main hangout that they go to celebrate and enjoy themselves but this time, the mood is downright sad. Even worse than the time after Naruto's funeral. Sai is the only one not feeling down because he is going from page to page in his book about emotions and trying to find a page where it will explain why Naruto is who he is now.

"So... what now?" asked Kiba who isn't sure what to say at the moment. They all came around to talk about the fact that their supposed dead friend/love interest, Naruto Uzumaki is not only alive but the insane Mercenary who is wanted by all the other main Villages. Not only that but from everything they all saw, he is mental if not downright insane.

"For the first time in my life, I don't know what to do" said Shikamaru with a dry chuckle. He may be called the smartest man of his generation but not even he knows what to say to make it all better.

"We help him, that's what!" exclaimed Sakura, slamming her palms on the table.

"How?" asked Shikamaru while raising a brow. "Even if you somehow do fix whatever is wrong with him, he's already in big trouble and from what my dad said to me, he might never see the light of day again." Everyone looks at Shikamaru with looks that tell him that theybcsnt believe what he just said, not like he can blame them.

"What!? Why the hell not!?" shouted Tenten with a glare.

"He may be Naruto to us but outside these walls, he is Deadpool. A S-Rank Shinobi who is wanted by all the other four Main Villages. If they find out that we have him, they won't be happy and what's worse that Naruto knows where the Box of Ultimate Bliss is but isn't telling us. He'll be sent to Ibiki and you all know how good he gets info out of people." Everyone but Sai flinches at the idea of getting worked over by Ibiki, especially the women since they have been told by Anko in detail about his skills on getting information out of people.

"Besides, from fhe looks of things his mind is broken. He's no longer our Naruto" he said with a sigh before jumping up when the table splits in half by Sakura's punch. Hinata stands up and glares dagger at the Nara with her Byakugan active, Ino stands up and clenched both her fist in want to punch him and Tenten has already taken out a large axe and is lifting it over her shoulder threateningly.

"What was that?" asked Tenten, sternly while balancing the axe in his grasp.

Shikamaru straightens himself out and looks at the women with a stern glare of his own. Something in which surprise them since no Nara is suppose to be able to glare as they are too lazy to. "You may deny it all you want but the facts are clear. Naruto, the orange wearing boy who ate ramen everyday and shouted about being Hokage is dead. Now, there is Deadpool. A maniac who doesn't care about what happens to others and will do anything he wants, whenever he wants, no matter how ridiculous or stupid it might be. He is a broken man and nothing can be done about it."

The women wants to shout, scream and punch the Nara but no matter how much they want to, they can't deny his words. What they saw in Iron Country wasn't Naruto, the Hero of the Village. It was some crazy man who has done crimes all over the Elemental Nations and did them all with a smile.

"Can't Ino or her dad fix his mind? They've done it before" asked Choji.

"Not with his mind. From what I saw, going into his mind might be more dangerous to the user than himself" Shikamaru with a tired sigh.

"What do you mean you won't cook it!?" came a shout from the reception desk. A voice which they all recognize too easy and cause them all to jolt out if their seats and look across the room to the see a certain spandex-wearing merc who's waving around a very scared looking pig his hand.

"TonTon?" muttered Hinata, recognizing the pig who Shizune always seems to be taking care of.

"I'll cut him up myself if ya want but I want him cooked in the next ten minutes or I'm gonna pop a vein!" roared Naruto, waving the pig around even more, much to its chagrin.

"Naruto?"

Hearing his name, Deadpool turns his head to stare at a certain group in which he belonged to when he was apart of the Village. "Never mind, I lost my appetite." Faster than any of them can follow, Deadpool disappears with a smoke trail heading out the door. Tonton is on the counter and on a spinning silver plate with a bit of lettuce and carrot on the side. The pig shakes in fear as it thinks of the many scenarios of it being cooked alive and eaten.

"Quick! We need to catch him before he gets away!" declared Neji who runs off with Lee ahead of him. The chase quickly draws the attention of every passerby Leaf Nin who start to chase Naruto as well.

Deadpool runs down the road towards the Village gates so fast that none of the Chunin, Jonin or even the ANBU can catch up to him.

"Lee, take off your weights!" Neil shouted to his teammate who complies and takes off the weights on his legs before blurring past everyone.

"My spidey sense is tingling" muttered Deadpool who ducks in time to dodge the overhead kick from lee who skids to a stop in front of him. Because of his sudden change of gravity, Deadpool falls and rolls to a stop. With him stopped, everyone who is at pursuit surrounds him and take battle positions. Getting up, Deadpool sees dozens upon dozens of Nin everywhere which all rank up from Genin to ANBU.

"Look at that" said Naruto, placing his hands on his hips. "All it took was becoming S-Rank, be the most wanted man in the world and know the location of a very powerful and dangerous box in order for everyone to respect me and might I say, I'm seeing a lot of respect here" he said while looking around at everyone who is glaring at him.

"A lot of respect."

"Take him!" ordered the ANBU Captain.

Almost everyone charges at Deadpool in order to restrain him. Neji and a reluctant Hinata comes from behind with their fingers glowing with Chakra in preperstion on sealing away his Chakra.

Deadpool smirks and reaches into his pouch and takes out three pellets. He raises his hand up and slams down the pellets, causing a smoke screen to appear and block everyone's vision.

"Surround the smoke screen! Don't let him get away!" ordered the ANBU Captain with a wave of his arm. All of the Ninja who aren't caught inside the cloud of smoke move around the smoke screen to make sure that Deadpool doesn't get away. The only people from the Konoha 11 who aren't inside the cloud of smoke are Choji, Ino and Kiba.

Flowing through hand signs, the ANBU Captain places his fingers in front if his mask and whispers to himself "Wind Style: Great Breakthrough" while keeping his Chakra level low so he doesn't cause harm to his allies within the smoke. He blows a low small burst of wind which blows away the blow to allow everyone to see.

"HOSTAGE!"

( Village Square - Twenty Minutes Later )

"What's the situation?" asked Tsunade who appears beside the ANBU Captain.

The ANBU straightens his back and places his arm across his chest as a form of salute. "Naruto Uzumaki, A.K.A Deadpool has taken one, Sakura Haruno hostage."

Tsunade looks at the ANBU before looking to the centre of the Village Square and true as the ANBU Captain said, there is Deadpool with his left arm around Sakura's throat and a katana blade in his other hand and position to her face.

"Has he made any demands?" she asked the ANBU Captain.

"So far, he has asked for a Chimichanga and says he won't compromise until he gets one."

"What's a Chimichanga?" she asked, not knowing what that is.

"I don't know ma'am. All he told us is that it's a type of food so I've had the Akimichi Clan study for it."

"I want Kakashi and Guy behind him and when I give the signal, send them in to detain Naruto."

"Are you sure Lady Hokage? He still has your apprentice as his hostage. He might hurt her" he asked in concern for the hostage's life.

"He won't hurt her. I know him well enough to know that he won't harm a single hair on her head" she said with confidence since she knows that he loves the pinkette. She doesn't notice Deadpool pull out a strand of Sakura's hair and calmly throw it behind him.

"I'll get right on it" said the ANBU Captain before proofing away into smoke to find Kakashi and Guy.

Knowing that she needs to settle everything before the situation with Naruto gets any worse, Tsunade takes a few steps forwards through the crowd of Shinobi and Kunoichi who are still surrounding Deadpool but are giving him enough space so he won't feel like he should harm his hostage. Getting through the crowd, she stands a couple feet away from Naruto and a very scared looking Sakura who hasn't kept her eyes off the sharp and shiny katana blade in his hand.

"Naruto."

"Actually, I prefer Deadpool now. Gives me that classy fibe if you know what I mean" he replied with a wink.

"Fine... Deadpool. Why are you doing all of this? Why cause such disarray in the Village? Isn't Sakura one of your teammates" she asked, trying to stall him enough so Kakashi and Guy can get into positions. She thinks that asking personal questions that might make him feel guilty will lower his stance just enough for Kakashi and Guy to handle him.

"You make it sound like I want to do this" he replied with his eyes wide before taking a look of thought. "Wait a minute, I do want to do this. I actually don't think I've done enough. Make note on blowing up Hokage Mountain" he muttered to himself before concentrating back to Tsunade.

"Naruto, you can stop all of this by dropping your sword. You're surrounded and have nowhere to go so please..." Tsunade's tone turns solemn as she gazes into Naruto's hidden eyes with a pleading expression. "Just stop all of this. I promise that everything will be alright."

Naruto takes a thoughtful expression while he also lowers his sword slightly from Sakura's face. Seeing their chance to move, Kakashi and Guy make a run for Naruto without Tsunade's order. Tsunade watches in shock as Kakashi and Guy quickly disarm Naruto and Guy knocks him out by hitting the back of his head.

"I didn't give you the order to move!" shouted Tsunade while pointing at Kakashi and Guy. It looked like Naruto was going to surrender on his own so now, they might have lost all little trust they had with him.

Shizune and another Medical Nin takes Sakura away to see any injuries on her person but none of them notice the smirk on her face before it returns back to one of shock.

"But we saw him lower his weapon and loosen his stance. We couldn't take any other opportunity to stop him" said Guy to try and reason with his Hokage but she just glares at him which causes him to cringe from under the glare.

Kakashi ignores the shouting coming from Tsunade to instead look at the unconscious Deadpool with suspicious eyes. "He went down too easy" he thought before he notices something with his Sharingan Eye. Lifting up Deadpool's mask, he notices an almost unnoticable Seal on his neck. It's around the size of a small orange but with his limited knowledge of Sealing, Kakashi can tell that whatever it is, it's a very powerful and complicated Seal. There's so many components that Kakashi is wondering how a human being is able to make such a small Seal with barely any space and with such precision.

Taking a risk, he places his palm on it and releases a pulse of Chakra into it to destroy it. The Seal shatters away into small shards of dry ink and in front of his eyes, Deadpool's body shimmers away to show an unconscious Chunin.

"What!? That isn't Naruto" exclaimed Tsunade as she runs over and checks the Chunin's pulse.

"A Seal that can disguise someone so perfectly that they can't even sense the Genjutsu? What a powerful Seal" thought Kakashi, knowing that it's hard for someone to hide the Chakra their using for the Henge Jutsu unless they have perfect Chakra control and since almost every Chunin in the Village don't have that sort of skill, he can guess the one person who did this.

"Wait, where's Sakura?" asked Tsunade who notices the disappearance of her apprentice. She should still be here after all of that.

An ANBU wearing the mask of a deer appears at her side. "Lady Hokage, Sakura Haruno has been found tied up and unconscious" said Deer.

"What!? But she was just hear" said Tsunade who's eyes widen in realization.

"Lady Hokage?"

"He fooled us" muttered Tsunade before turning around and waving her arm towards the ANBU near her. "ANBU! Naruto Uzumaki is still at large and might be at the gate if we're lucky. Find and retrieve him alive!" she ordered. The ANBU all run off towards different directions but the majority head towards the gates of the Village in case Naruto goes to leave the Village.

"Lady Tsunade. What's going on?" asked a concern Shizune who isn't sure what to think after that.

"He played us and we took the bait" told Tsunade who is wondering if she should be angry or proud of Naruto.

"Excuse me?"

"He was Sakura" she said as she turns to her first apprentice. "He placed a Henge Seal on one of the Chunin when everyone was distracted with the smoke screen and must have used a Genjutsu of sort to manipulate the Chunin to act like him."

"Genjutsu? But Naruto has too much Chakra to be able to use Genjutsu. How is that possible?" asked Shizune with disbelief.

"I don't know but one thing is for sure, Naruto has gotten better" replied Tsunade before leaving for the comfort of her office. With Naruto's sudden appearance as Deadpool, his knowledge of wear the Box of Ultimate Bliss is, his escape and the smart trick he did on everyone is enough for her to call it in and have a drink from her secret stash.

Now, it's in the ANBU's hands.

( Inaho's Residence )

It has been four hours since the disappearance of Naruto and the ANBU have made a clean sweep all over the Village. Their idea being that Naruto has left the Village undetected and with him gone, so is the knowledge of where the Box of Ultimate Bliss is.

Opening the door to his two story house and locking it behind him, Inaho switches on the lights and takes in the view of his well lit and customized hall which is adorn with expensive paintings and beautiful wallpaper. Being a merchant who sells the best of food and supplies gives him plenty of money to buy whatever he wants and with the death of his wife and son, he doesn't have to spend any of it on family members.

"I hope Lopè found the prize money" he said to himself while thinking about what he can do with that money when he gets his hands on it. In his opinion, there is no way someone can spend so much money in such a short amount of time so he doesn't believe what the demon said to him in the Council Chamber.

Walking into his sitting room, he switches on the light but jumps in fright when he sees Deadpool sitting on his armchair. "What in blue blazes!?"

"Hello Inaho" greeted Deadpool while getting up from the chair. He makes his way over to Inaho who takes steps back in fear of the person in front of him.

"D-D-D-..." Inaho can't seem to get the words out and Deadpool doesn't help when he grabs Inaho's mouth which effectively shuts him up.

"Sshhh" hushed Naruto, placing his forefinger to his lips. "I think we got on the wrong foot" said Naruto in a kind tone which he betrays when he steps on Inaho's left foot and the crunch noise suggests that it's now broken. Inaho tries to scream but Deadpool's hand muffles it so nobody outside can hear him.

Deadpool drags the struggling Council Member towards the armchair and throws him on it. "Don't you worry about a thing. Get comfy, relax~" he said while sheathing his katana blades and stabbing them into his shoulders and through the chair. Inaho goes to scream again but Deadpool jumps on Inaho and uses his right shoulder to block his mouth.

"There there, daddy's here. Let it all out" he said while patting the back of the crying man's head. He gets off of him and gags him with a ball gag. "Don't worry. Haven't used that in a while so it should be clean-ish" said Deadpool who's trying to ease the man but badly fails at it.

"Now, let's talk shall we?" Deadpool looks at the gagged Inaho and nods his head.

"Fine then, I'll talk. When I was four, I came to your fine establishment to purchase some food. I believe it was a chicken sandwich" told Deadpool while walking back and forth infront of the very frighten Inaho who tries to struggle but stops when the blades in his shoulders cause him pain. "I had the money to purchase said item but apparently, my kind is not welcome in your store which you proved by chasing me out with a broomstick. Two years later, I was walking back from the academy when all of a sudden, I was mugged and attacked by a mob and from what I remember, you were the one leading them." Deadpool dramatically points his finger at Inaho who looks at it like as if it's a kunai.

"That day, I was sent to the hospital with a collapsed lung, four broken ribs, both shoulders dislocated, a black eye, broken nose, third degree burns, deep cuts on my body and a broken jaw." Inaho screams into his gag when Deadpool suddenly appears in front of him, grabs the sides of the armchair and looks deep into his scared eyes. "That was a very painful day for me Inaho!" he shouted in madness before straightening himself out and smooths down his spandex like as if it's crumple up. "But I've moved that behind me".

He moves behind the armchair with Inaho desperately trying to turn his head to see what he's doing. "I'm not one to hold grudges. I guess that's why I was sent to that lovely prison for the crime I..., let's be honest, I probably did commit. My memory does get fuzzy now and again" he said, holding his head and flicking the handle of one of his katana which causes Inaho to scream again in pain. "Anyway, as I was saying, if I can move on..."

Inaho widens his eyes when the cold steel of a kunai touches his throat.

"You can as well."

With it being late outside, nobody hears the muffled screams of the Council Member or the giggles from a certain Jinchuriki who is having way too much fun.

( Village Gates )

Station at the gates of the Village are a squad of ANBU in case that Deadpool hasn't escaped the Village yet. Their thought prove to be true when they see a red and black blur head their way. All five ANBU run at Deadpool with their tantos ready just as Deadpool unsheathes his katana blades. While running, Deadpool spins on his feet which makes him look similar to that of a twister and when the ANBU get close to him, they are sent up into the air with deep cuts on their person.

Sheathing his swords, Deadpool walks out of the gates with a bit of swagger in his steps, ignoring the bodies of ANBU fall around him. He even steps to the right so he can dodge an ANBU from falling on top of him.

"Wait!"

Turning around and grabbing the sheath of a katana, Deadpool raises a brow when he sees Hinata running up to him and with a bag on her shoulder. She stops a few yards away from him and places her hands on her knees to rest herself. She finds it exhausting to gather up her needed supplies and to get to the gates without getting caught by the guards. Deadpool places a hand on his hip and patiently waits for her to speak since he can't sense any Killing Intent from her.

Getting her breath back, Hinata stands up and looks deep into Deadpool's eyes with conviction. "Take me with you."

"Excuse moi?" he replied, thinking that he didn't hear her right. He even places his pinkie into his ear, which is still covered by the mask, to see if he has something blocking his hearing.

"I said take me with you" she said again with the same amount of conviction in her voice.

"Yea~... no." He turns around and like before, leaves with swagger.

"Why not?" she asked while following him away from the Village. "I want to come with you" she cried out before falling on her knees and bowing her forehead to the floor which causes Deadpool to stop in his tracks and turn around to watch the Hyūga Heiress bow to a commoner. A sexy commoner but commoner nonetheless. "Please Naruto, don't send me away" she begged with tears dripping down her face. Her beloved has finally come back and now, she does'nt want to let him go again.

"You do know that if you come with me, you can't come back no matter what. All of your friends will be enemies and if they find us, you will have to be forced to fight them" said Deadpool who for once, is thinking clearly.

Hinata raises herself from the floor and wipes away her tears before looking into Naruto's eyes which are hidden form behind his mask. "I know that I'll he leaving my family behind and my friends but I don't care." Deadpool raises a curious brow when he hears that from the shy heiress who he remembers to be all about family and whatnot. Funny enough, he was once like that as well. "I'm sure they will understand my reasons to go."

"What are your reasons anyway? Why come with a Missing Nin who is wanted by all almost all the other Villages?" he asked.

Hinata blushes before finding the tree beside her a lot interesting. "I-It's b-because... I-I..." Honestly, she wants to say the words but they just don't seem to want to come out of her knows of the many other women in the Village that like Naruto so she wants to take the initiative before any of them try anything and what better way by abandoning the Village with him. She already left a note in her room for her family. She knows that she'll be made a Missing Nin and most likely placed in the Bingo Books by the Ho,age and the Elders from her Clan since she is a Main Branch Hyūga who has no Cage Bird Seal to stop the chance of her children being born with Byakugan outside of the Clan. She is sad on leaving her friends, teammates and sensai but she hopes that they'll understand her reasons for going.

Seeing that he isn't getting anywhere with her and that someone will probably find the bodies of the ANBU soon enough, he walks over and pats the top of her head. "Fine, fine. You can come" he sighed in defeat. Hinata looks up and smiles happily at hearing that but eeps when Deadpool wraps an arm around her and places a similar outfit of his in front of her eyes. "But if we're going to make a club, we're going to need matching outfits." He looks down at Hinata's large chest and back at the red and black spandex outfit in his hand. "Maybe I'll need to adjust it first."

As he expects, Hinata faints from embarressment at the idea of wearing such an outfit and because of Naruto checking her out.

"Good times" whispered Deadpool in nostalgia before picking up Hinata into a princess carry and jumps towards the trees. Several times, he roughly lands on a awkward branch or two which causes him to 'accidently' grab onto Hinata's rear so he can keep a hold on her.

"Good times~"

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	6. Not an Update!

AN: Story is currently under rewrite so I can fix all plot holes, mistakes and change plot slightly.

Yes, there will still most likely be spelling mistakes.

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